Devastated

Hi everyone just want to ask for some advice I lost my beautiful Lucy to pancreatic Cancer Wednesday 20th October 2021 we had 27 Year’s Together,and so very much still in love, Lucy was 55 last June,I’m feeling very much suicidal,I can’t eat or sleep properly and I’m crying all the time,Lucy is the love of my life my rock my world and I am completely destroyed,I love and miss Lucy so very much where do I go from here I suffer from PTSD and Lucy kept the demon’s at bay,I’m on medication 3 time’s a day,I’m sorry I have waffled on lots of love to you all
Martin

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So sorry for your loss . My husband died in September last year we had been together since we were 16 . 43 years ago . I also don’t eat and don’t sleep properly and miss him so much . I’m sorry I don’t have any answer s on how to cope but posting and reading on this site has helped me . I realize I am not the only one going through this and the chats on here do help x take care x

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Hi devon guy I’m like you feeling very suicidal and alone after losing my darling husband last August. Nothing is the same anymore my life is all upside down and I don’t know where to turn. People say times a great healer but I can’t see that I feel as bad now as I did in August and my mental health is suffering no one really understands what I’m going through unless it’s happened to them. Friends have all but deserted me and I only have an elderly mother who I care for now . My life feels as if it ended on the 12th August 2021 and I’m just going through day by day in a daze and like a zombie. Sorry I can’t make you feel any better but I don’t know what to say life is so cruel :broken_heart:

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Hello Devonguy,

So sorry for your loss; it is still extremely raw.
We offer no solutions - there are none.
I just hope it helps knowing that others share your pain and understand your feelings.

Kath x

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Hi Martin,

I’m so very sorry to hear that you lost your Lucy in October after 27 years together. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed. It sounds like you’re really struggling with eating and sleeping and this must be difficult to cope with, particularly alongside your PTSD.

You mentioned feeling suicidal, which sounds really difficult to manage. Thoughts like this are more common than you may think after a bereavement, but it’s important to reach out for support if they become overwhelming. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to speak to someone about how you are feeling. You could try contacting one of the following:

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. You mention that you’re taking medication already - are you able to talk to your medical team about how you’re feeling? It might be that they can offer further support.

You deserve care and support so please, Martin, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,
Eleanor

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Hello Misprint,

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling similarly to Devonguy1966. It sounds like you’re feeling very alone in your grief, which must be tough. Much of what you’ve said sounds very similar to what others in this community have experienced so please know that you’re not alone here.

There is support out there and I would encourage you to reach out and talk to someone. I mentioned some services to Devonguy1966 and I’ll list them again here as I think they may be of some use to you too:

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Keep talking to us here, if you find it helpful, and take good care of yourself.

Eleanor

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I feel so heartbroken for all of us. My day has been made up of constant crying. Even when walking smudge. If people saw me they would probably think I’d gone crackers. I missed my H all day today and have been inconsolable. My heart has been smashed into tiny pieces and I have not coped with anything well today. I hope tomorrow will be different. I control nothing in my life since H died. I died with him that day. I have OTSD counselling on 3 March. Wether it will help who knows. Medication is not helping. I just feel so lost and lonely and the only thing that gives me comfort is reading about others on this site and knowing you understand and I am not alone x

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Oh Nel. My heart breaks for you. I too spend my days crying and suffering from heartbreak and wish for my fiancee to come back but I know that will never happen :confused: Counselling may help you. It is helping me to be able to talk to someone outside of the family. Nobody but you really knows what it’s like to lose someone that you love so much. Be kind to yourself and don’t expect big things just now. Each day is different. One day you feel strong, the next you crumble but that’s ok. It is normal. Keep checking in here, as I will because I do feel this is helping. You are not alone.
Chris x

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Hi Eleanor
Thank you so very much for your kind words and reply to me,I have taken onboard everything you have mentioned,I contacted Rowcroft bereavement support team 10 days ago,and I’m having my 2nd councilling session today 2/3pm I’m still finding it difficult to cope,I don’t want to be here,I want to be with my Beautiful Lucy,I constantly talk to her everyday, today is the dreaded Wednesday as you know Lucy passed away Wednesday 20th October last year,I buy her fresh flowers, Rose’s every Tuesday and hide them from her until Wednesday,I ask her if she likes her Rose’s,I hope she does, eating is slightly better, sleeping not so great,I’m constantly crying, still no sign from Lucy,I beg her to send me one, so I know that she is ok​:broken_heart::cry::rose:I tell her every night,another day closer to you my darling, another day closer,I hope you are all doing well Elenore lot’s of :sparkling_heart: to you all
Martin xx

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Beautiful flowers Jim was always buying me flowers now my vase is empty oh how I miss my darling Jim xxx

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My H bought me a £1 bunch of daffodils every week when they were in season. I miss them so much x

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I’m buying myself some flowers as part of my self care.
My husband who passed away in December only ever bought me flowers once when we had just started going out together. After that he always said he didn’t need to buy them as he grew them for me instead.

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