Hello Everyone 
Another Day of not eating,I am receiving councilling,I had another session yesterday afternoon,it went well,but I didn’t tell all,I have to be careful.
They say that you can’t Die of a Broken Heart,Well I am and that’s a fact,I’m not me anymore,in fact I’m not anything,just a shell, existing Not living until I meet my Beautiful Lucy again, every day I cry so many times,I just want to curl up in to a ball and die,why does God always take the good one’s in our lives,the lives we adore and love so very much,I see junkies out on the streets, spiced up in a Zombie state,the NHS ambulance scoops them up,whisked away to hospital,a few days later they are back at it again,it’s like a groundhog Day
Why doesn’t God take them, they obviously don’t care about there lives,Am I wrong in thinking this,I’m just so bloody angry.
Can I have your thoughts please,
Lot’s of 
and 
Martin xx
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Martin, from my own point of view is that God only takes those that their time is right. It’s difficult to explain because I am not a religious leader or even understand all the theology thinking. It’s just me! I do believe that he leaves those who can deal with all the horrible things we are left to deal with. That is also our life without our loved ones. We can only join our loved ones, our soulmate, when our time is right.
That is all so the same if we think about doing something to alter that plan.
Our plan is laid out for us and we just have to go with that plan but unfortunately we don’t get to see that plan.
Yes, it is possible to die from broken heart but generally it’s an heart problem that allows it happen. By not eating you are only upsetting your own immunity system which then becomes low allowing out side infection the chance to invade your body. i.e a sitting duck not only for covid but anything else around.
Please think what would Lucy want you to do? Would she want you to be happy even if you think that’s not ever going to happen. Would she want you to be able to help others. Would she want you to see all those people and amazing places she didn’t get the chance to see. Think of what she would want you to do or achieve. There are possibilities even when we still think and feel our loved one around us each and every day. They never leave us and you will know this.
Life does go on, wether we like it or not and somehow we have to find our own place, our own role in this new and bewildering life. We all cry and miss our special person each and every day and that includes me.
We are always here for you, never feel alone. S xx
@Devonguy1966 hi Martin I am so very sorry for your loss. I do hope you start to eat and take care of yourself. Lucy wouldn’t want you to be doing this to yourself. I know how hard it is, and I totally get the the not being you anymore and being a shell and just existing. That’s exactly how I have been since losing pauline and nothing but feeling empty and sadness and pain that is always there. I understand your pain and heartbreak as do all of us on here. I don’t want to be here without my soulmate, but I’m keeping going for her as I know she would want me to and for our pets who need me. I had a counselling session today and I am honest with how I am feeling about not wanting to be here but I have to for pauline and our pets. So please try to eat something even if its only a little. I know it feels like you are alone but you are not. This community is there for you and we all try to help eachother on this heartbreaking journey of grief. Keep posting on here as it helps to talk to others and put down what we are feeling. Please take care sending a hug x
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Hi Susie123
Thank you for your kind words and reply,I really do appreciate it,I think you are right in all that you say,I will try to eat something tomorrow,I just feel so guilty to eat,I weighed myself last night I have lost a hell of a lot of weight,I won’t say from what,to now,it’s not good,I’m so sorry for your loss, every day is a struggle isn’t it,it’s mother’s Day tomorrow as you know,I always buy my Beautiful Lucy a mother’s Day card and 4 bunches of daffodils 
we use to call eachother,Mum and Dad Even though we don’t have any children,daft I know,but it was fun,
I’m sending you lots of and
Take Care xx
Martin, I am so pleased to hear you are going to eat again. Try something simple, soup or eggs and eat slowly. Lucy would want you to be fit and well. It’s time now to start and think about you and your health. Small steps and life will improve. It’s hard and I know personally just how hard but be kind to yourself and you will get there. Sending you blessings. S xxx