This is my 1st post. Lost my husband 22nd January this year and am absolutely heartbroken. After46 years together I’m so lost. The crying is exhausting and some days just getting dressed is an effort. I’ve photos arround the house which my friend suggested I take down but I need to see him. Is that so wrong
Reading the posts on the site is a comfort realising I’m not alone in how I feel
Thanks
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You have my sympathies. Why on earth would taking his photos down be a good idea. People say the most unhelpful things.
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I lost my husband 19th January this year.i have photos of my husband around the house and they are my memories of him , and the same for you You are in the early stages of grief right now so i know how you are feeling .it is not wrong to keep the photos of your husband where you can see him.Do not listen to other people ,it is not their choice.Sorry for your loss,
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I lost my husband on 23rd February this year, we had been together for 42 years. I have photos all over the place, I’ve even brought one with me to my sisters. I can’t see why it should be a problem, if thats what helps us. We’ve got to stop listening to other peoples ideas of how we should grieve. We have to do it our own way, and everybody is different
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I lost my husband on 4th January this year. We were narrued for 44 years. I have photos of him everywhere. I talk to him every day, and i write a journal and tell him abour my day and how miss him. It helps me deal with my loss.
You need to deal with this in whatever way you can. Everybody’s grief is different, and dont let anyone tell you how to grieve. Do it your way.
@paeony
Apart from the date that could have been written by me. I too speak to my husband all the time and I write to him every night. It started as my feelings spilling over into a letter I read to him and had placed in his coffin with him. Now I write to him daily, telling him about my day and how I’m feeling. Usually accompanied by many tears. I know one of my friends doesn’t agree with it, and thinks its silly, but I’m the one thats grieving and I do get some comfort from it
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Thanks to all of you. Its so comforting to know I’m not the only one and I talk to him all the time too. Sometimes I still cant believe he’s gone. But at least we had a long wonderful happy marriage which is a precious thing .
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@Lottie79
You are definitely not alone.
I think the disbelief is normal, I feel the same. Keep hold of those memories, they will help you keep going
Take care
Love and hugs
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Dearest @Lottie79
I’m so sorry for you.
Keep all those pictures up, I have absolutely loads covering all my walls in our front room.
Some other people have said the same to me. It’s their problem… You keep them up … See him smiling at you …happy …
I look at all the photos I’ve got up… I took most of them ,because it was usually just us , and he’s smiling… At me … Cos I took them
I’m sure it’s the same for you.
Love hugs and strength
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Thats exactly how i feel. I took them so he was smiling at me. I have my favourite one as the sreen saver on my phone.
If it helps we should do it. Dont listen to anyone else, they’re not going through it we are
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I too have my favourite one on my phone screen saver, and it goes me with every where.
When sitting out and about for a coffee with my friend, or at pub, my phone is out , standing up with his smiling face …for all to see… with us … with me…always
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What a beautiful sentiment. How heartwarming
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Hello everyone reading your comments are very warming I also have photos of my husband and I’m also doing a scrap book of his life from us meeting when he was in the army I also have lots of photos of him laughing they are going in it plus when we got married the last photo will be of the certificate I have received as after his passing his name was put one one of the RNLI lifeboats that was been launched we are so proud of that and so would he take care all
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Hi @Jennison1946
That sounds like a wonderful tribute to your husband.
At the moment I write to my husband every night on the notebook in my phone, but I’m going to get a journal and transfer it to that. Its going to be the story of my life since I lost him and I’ll treasure it forever
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Hi Liro that sounds lovely and what a good idea about your own story since your husband passed I wish you well on your journey take care x
Thanks everyone. I have my favourite photo of us as my screensaver too.
I’m definitely keeping them up and I’ve ordered a couple on canvas.
This awful feeling that part of you is gone just breaks your heart so chatting to him and looking at him smiling at me from the photos gets me through…in between the weeping that is.
I’ve lost family members before but losing your soulmate is beyond anything I could have imagined.
Love to you all
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Thankyou @Jennison1946
I’ve never in my life written a diary. Now it gives me a connection to Roger. I just talk about my day and how much I’m missing him, and the daily struggle to go on.
It does give me some comfort, the same way that I hope you’re getting some comfort from doing you’re scrapbook.
I personally would reccomend doing something similar to others, although we are all different and it might not work for some
Hi @Lottie79
Yes I agree, when I lost my Mum I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, and I was devastated. But losing your husband/partner, your soulmate and your everything is on a different level. Devastated doesn’t really come near it. Broken and griefstricken and lonely, are more like it
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@Liro thats just what I do (tell him about my day). I also ask him what to do about the allotment, which he loved. I know he’ll never answer but there was something -book, film - cant remember What would Mary Berry do? I think What Would Jim do? and i work through the options. Maybe he is guiding me, but it does help me work out what to do.