Hi all
My name is Lisa…I’m 66 and lost my husband two weeks ago tomorrow…
How do you all cope?
I’m feeling empty, devastated, in shock…and the thought of living the rest of my life without him is awful……
The amount of paperwork and sorting out finances is a huge worry….
I’d be grateful to know how you all have coped or are coping……
At the moment I just wish I wasn’t here….
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Hi Lisa, so sorry that you have lost your husband. I am 68 and lost my husband 14 weeks ago, due to a sudden cardiac arrest.
Like you, I am devastated and I honestly didn’t think I could cope. I found just getting through the next hour and not allowing myself to think any further than that was the only way I could go on. The hours turn into a whole day. I did just what I had to do in each hour.
As for all the paperwork, I knew my limitations, I care for my adult disabled daughter which is a full-time job on its own. So I asked a Solicitor to apply for Probate. I received it on Friday. I still have forms to fill in and don’t know yet what the Solicitor’s bill will be.
I am glad you found this site. There is usually someone that can offer emotional support and sometimes practical suggestions that help to navigate this unwanted road we have to travel.
Sending love and hugs. Xx
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I’m now over 16th months into this and am also 66. The first year I felt like I was in a daze, sorting out all of the paperwork/finances, but I survived. I even went on a solo holiday back in April to Italy and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was good to get away from the empty house and then not having that other person to share all of your experiences with, but I somehow managed. Does it get better? Well I think that you just learn to cope with it. I still feel empty and cry a lot but know that my Keef would not have wanted me to give up, so that’s why I make plans and do lots of things. I still have days when I can’t believe what has happened and really wish that I wasn’t here, but I think eventually I found a coping mechanism. Take care and just be yourself. Gail xx
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Thank you Willow112…
It’s such a comfort knowing that I’m not alone going through this….
It just seems so hard……
I miss him so much……and when I think of everything I have to sort out I’m getting a sort of panic attack……
Thanks for letting me know how you do your best to cope…sending hugs to you…
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Thanks Gail……
I think you’re so brave holidaying on your own…well done you and I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
My husband was given weeks to live on August 1 and died on the 20th……but I’m grateful that we got the chance to talk about everything. He told me to go off and do all the things we wanted to do……finances permitting!..and I liked the thought of doing that eventually….but don’t think I could ever be brave enough….
I so hope to be like you and find some sort of joy in life at some point…but it’s hard to imagine that now……
Sending love to you ….
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Hi Lisa
So sorry that your loss is so recent. Re the paperwork thing, I did find that most places were helpful , I didnt try to do too much and gave myself a pat on the back when I had sorted one piece out at least. Some days are the pits but then you might have another one that works out. I try not to think of too much or else its to debilitating. Its 10 months for me re the loss of Pete, and taking one day at a time is useful. Being on here has helped tremendously to feel that someone knows exactly how we feel.
Sending love and hugs to you, you will get there it will just take time, be kind to yourself and you are stronger than you think. xxx
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jantee….thank you….
Sending love and hugs to you too x
I lost my husband around 2 months ago. It is truly awful at the beginning and the best advise I was given was be kind to yourself and take baby steps. The paperwork can wait until you feel a little more able to tackle it. I have done all the paperwork myself, it can be done. Just make sure you get advise from good websites about what you need to do. But it can wait for a while.
I hope you manage to cope ok.
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Poll6……thank you.
I’m realising it’s going to have to be done bit by bit….it’s just added pressure at a time I just need to be able to grieve……
Sending love to you x
Take baby steps. Dont rush. I am on month14 this month and it does get easier. I miss my husband so much but I promised him I would live life and do new things. Take your time sorting out the paperwork and ask for help if you are ever stuck.
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So sorry, Lisa. The Tell Us Once people will do some of it for you. But it’s very early days for you, and there’s no rush. Just try and look after yourself. It’s 11 months for me this month. It does get easier with time; the grief is still there, but you slowly learn to cope with the everyday stuff.
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Hi Lisa. I lost my fiancé 2 weeks ago yesterday. He was only 47, we were on holiday with our ten year old son, enjoying ourselves one day then the next minute he was gone. He was fit and healthy, he got an infection which developed into toxic shock, his organs failed and he died in intensive care. The shock and the pain and the fear is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Sending love to everyone who is suffering too.
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Thanks Punto……I’m hoping it will get easier as time passes…but like you I miss him so much it’s like a physical ache inside……
It’s so comforting getting support from people who totally understand….sending hugs to you too….
Thanks Catrin1……
I’m so grateful for all the helpful advice ……sending hugs x
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So sorry for your loss too Jess75……it must be so raw for you too……
I’m just trying to get through the day at the moment…I expect you are too. So glad we found this forum……it’s so helpful and comforting to talk to people who know exactly how bloody awful this is…
Hang on in there……sending my love to you x
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I now have a to-do list and each day try to do at least one thing on it. We only moved house due to Robs cancer diagnosis and his outcome which at the time was 18 months this was in April 2023 he passed away july 2023 but left me a list of things that i needed to do in the house, I’m working my way through it and it makes each day more bearable knowing i’m doing it for both of us.
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