My husband died 11 months ago and tomorrow is our Diamond Wedding Anniversary. I will be alone as is usual the happy, busy, frivolous times are over. I hate socialising nowadays and make the best of things in my garden with my dog. Has anyone else withdrawn like me?
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Hello @Tansy, thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry for the death of your husband. With such a special anniversary coming up, it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling withdrawn. However you are feeling or choose to mark the day (or not) is okay.
I’m just giving this thread a gentle bump for you - hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.
Take good care,
Seaneen
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@Tansy
Dear Tansy, How wonderful that you had fifty nine years married, almost sixty.
I feel so sad for you that you will spend your anniversary alone.
I do understand when you say that you now hate socialising, I feel it is so hard to go out pretending that life is good when you know things have changed forever.
I honestly don’t think people who haven’t lost a partner have a clue. It has been nearly eight months for me and so many people can’t understand why I don’t want to go on holiday or go out for the day. Yes, I know we all feel differently and to some of us going out is good . I am not saying I won’t ever enjoy these things again but at the moment i feel I am not ready.
From your post it sounds like you enjoyed a busy social life. Maybe one day, when the time is right for you, you may once again start to enjoy going out.
You do what is right for you. Spending time in the garden with your dog sounds lovely to me, especially with these lovely warm days we are having. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending you love. xx
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Dear Tansy, I am so sorry about your loss. I can understand that you do not want to go out. I am the same. Today was the first day that I went out to Lakeside and to the local library after I stayed at home for a week. Today four months ago my beloved husband left me behind in this terrible nightmare. I am on my own and still trying to come to terms with what happened to us and still cry a lot. It is good that you have a dog. Dogs are good for the soul. My two dogs went over the rainbow bridge years ago, but I still have the leash, the collar, and the plate they were eating from. I would like to have an animal again but I hardly can look after myself and who would care for my pet when I have to go back to the hospital or die? Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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Yep ! I find it really hard to go out anywhere ! I think what i do is put on a brave face and then i come home and just cry all night/ rest of day ! Its so hard not having that support there isn’t it ! Ive had an awful day today … its been too much xxx
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@Tansy . Its my anniversary tomorrow the 17th. 52 years.
l will be alone thinking of him gone these 6 months, most probably stay in bed and cry the day away
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Dear @Tansy
I’m so sorry I didn’t see this till this morning.
Happy Anniversary for yesterday
I hope you found some of your own inner peace during the day, remembering all the special times.
We must all deal with these significant days in our own way, and the way that is best for us.
Last Christmas ( 4 months after my husband died) I chose to spend it alone - with our 2 dogs
Not many understood, and I think lots even thought I was being selfish and should have been thinking about them! (that was mostly family)
I didn’t care…and I know it was the right decision.
Lots of love and hugs to you and everyone making difficult decisions about how to deal with little and big things
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I got through our Diamond Day and I must thank everyone who understood and replied to my post. I am so sorry that like me you are riddled with such sadness.
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