My husband passed away 5 weeks ago. Due to NHS delays, his operation was delayed and when they eventually operated, his condition deteriorated. One minute we were talking about him coming home. He then couldn’t breath and had a catastrophic blood clot and heart attack. I watched him pass away before my eyes. To watch the life drain from someone you love so much and is your soul mate is devastating. I have no idea how to even think about the future.


Unfortunately we can’t think too much about the future. We can just take a day at a time. Or just one step at a time.
We all understand how hard this grief journey is

I understand how you feel. My husband passed away 4 weeks ago. We were talking about him coming home from the hospital and then he ended up in the ICU. They had to put him on a ventilator and I was there when they turned the machine off too. I can’t tell you how traumatised I feel about it all and haven’t been able to say anything out loud yet. I feel guilty every day and question if I could have done more. Everything happened so quickly. He is only 35 so we really thought he would be home in no time at all. I worry about the future too, the fact is I don’t really want a future without him. I think the only thing that keeps me going is to do all the things that we wanted to do and live my life for two.

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Hi Di66,

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s devastating. I lost my 25 year old daughter 16 weeks ago. She too had a cardiac arrest and later we found that she had a large blood clot on her lung. It’s truly the hardest thing to see your loved one pass. We were at home and preformed CPR until the paramedics arrived.
It’s so shocking and sad.

My thoughts are with you if you ever want to message please do.


This could be me writing this… my husband to went into hospital and ended up in icu on a ventilator I was also there when it was switched off and watched him take his last breath. I can’t get the image out of my head it was the most horrendous thing ever. Then being handed his belongings in a hospital bag was to much to bare. I’m in bits everyday and think my lifes over as well I stand at his grave and still can’t believe all thats happened. I just keep cryin and saying WHY did this happen

I am haunted by these images too, I can’t stop thinking about his time in ICU. It’s so unfair, he didn’t drink, smoke and was completely healthy so I really don’t understand how this could have happened. I cry everyday too, people keep telling me I’m strong and brave but it doesn’t feel like that. I feel so scared to be alone.