Hi my husband died on the 25th of April and l am on the whole doing OK my husband and l talked about death all the time as he was older than we we where happy together but we did things on our own l have horses a dog and our family he loved politics and history and we both loved travel l have a brilliant support network my work have given 3 months off l collected the ashes on Monday l am taking home to sussex on his birthday as although we lived in Yorkshire he would have gone back if it hadn’t been married to me l am comfortable with him been in the wardrobe l don’t know if it’s a reaction to him been home but l feel shit today sorry if that words not allowed so today everyone one is not around so l am going to wallow today watch rubbish telly
Hi Diane, and welcome to this lovely group. All sounds normal to me, although everyone’s grief is different. We have too many conflicting thoughts fighting for our attention, but they WILL sort themselves out if we give them time. My wife died a week before your husband, we also lived in Yorkshire.
Collecting her ashes was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to do. I worried about what to do with them (she wanted hers mixing with mine). I eventually put them by the chair I use when I talk to her every night and occasionally just touch them. I find that comforting.
We all have shit days, very often not knowing why, but then the gloom lifts and optimism shines through again
Hang in there!!
Polish the horse, walk the dog, watch the cricket on TV today. It’s too hot for much else, anyway.
You sound pretty pragmatic, and that will help you through this.
Thank you l polish the horse often and the dog often life changes l was very lucky Barry and l talked about death all the time not a subject that impressed me l might add but he had been preparing me me in a subtle way l never realised it was happening but it was my last gift you see l know what sort of life he wanted for me l miss haveing some one to debate with to disagree with dare l say it even politics but the green shoots for looking forward is retuning and l find myself looking forward to things