My mum had dementia but she had other complications. She had extreme pain with bowel movements, I really don’t know the cause of this. She was prescribed dihydrocodeine, but I didn’t ever give her it because of her painful bowel movements instead if needed (but she was never in any other pain,) other than her bowel movements and she was given paracetomal for her painful bowel movements. I didn’t give her the dihydrocodeine for her bowel movements because I thought it would just cause her more bowel problems, because they can give you bad constipation. If my mum complained she felt her bowels sore I’d give her two paracetomols, but she was in such pain it was like childbirth. I’m in two minds about this, if I’d gave her the dihydrocodeine would she have been in more distress or would giving her dihydrocodeine saved her pain, although cause her more constipation? I feel really guilty about this.;
It is always hard to do what is best for our loved one and you did what was right for you and your mum at the time. Hard as it is, please do not feel guilty about your decision. Looking after a loved one and seeing them in pain and trying to prevent further pain is hard on the person looking after them. We do everything we can to help and prevent further pain for our loved ones who are suffering.
To put your mind at rest, I would book an appointment with your doctor and tell them how you are feeling and that the guilt of your decision is weighing you down. They will understand as anyone would and your doctor hopefully would go into more detail about the dihydrocodeine. They will not judge you.
Sometimes there are no answers, and we will never know the answer to our decisions but on a positive note your mum would have loved you for the care and love who gave here and for being there for her. What an amazing daughter you are.
I do hope you get to chat to your doctor who will hopefully convince you that you have nothing to be guilty about. Please take care and continue to reach out.