Just wanting to vent and get opinions.
My lovely mum passed away November 2024. I was her carer and she was my best friend.
My husband was supportive and has always been when it came to my mum.
He has always been a drinker and we have had issues about how much he drinks.
Neally split over it. We went away for Christmas as didnt want to be at home. He was ok with the drinking and didnt drink too much.
But as soon as we came back he drank 12 bottles of Stella. Small bottles but he was still drunk. This upset me and and i told him id had enough the next day and to slit up.
This involved my daughters who were there at the time. Then later on in the day i thought about it and thought i had over reacted. Is it my tolerance level, low ? Ive been through so much i think i just cant take much more. We talked about it and he has agreed to get a diagnosis for ADHD as I think thats why he binge drinks.
So we are still together but i feel so low.
Any thoughts?
Still having flash backs about mum also.
Having counselling next week . Thanks for listening xx
Sorry my mum passed Nov 23 just over a year xx
There is really no overreaction when your spouse is a drunkard. It makes life miserable for everyone and having personally had this issue once with a long term BF, I would not tolerate it. I left him over it.
I am sorry your mom died and I know you are in a fog of sadness, but still, no one should have to live with a drunkard. Either he seeks addiction counseling or the party is over.
It is misery to live with someone who is drunk all the time, be strong in your conviction and put your foot down when he is sober. “Get sober or get divorced” are his options and the decision is his.
I am sorry you are going through this, it is a hard thing to break off with someone you love, but if the love of the booze is stronger than his love for you or himself, there is nothing you can do but give the ultimatum and stick to your guns.
His choice. Prepare for divorce and hope he sobers up before you begin to despise him.
Much love.
Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it.
I will take heed to what you say. We have been together 25 years so it is difficult.
I will see how the ADHD diagnosis goes and if he goes on medication.
But I will really keep in mind what you have said. Thank you for your support.xx