Did anyone’s marriage suffer after the loss of a parent? My husbands dad passed away in may and things aren’t good between us.Did anyone manage to sort through the problems or did they just get better with time did your feelings change towards your spouse?
My stepdad passed away unexpectedly 4 years ago. My mum was disabled and lived 120 miles away from me. I have a younger sister but she’s had a stroke so not able to really help with anything. Anyway, due to this, I had to organise everything following his passing, funeral, contacting every agency, bank etc. Deal with my own grief while also trying to look after mum and hold down a full time job. My husband was completely ignored and not consulted over anything. I told him what I was doing and when I was doing it, never once considering his thoughts or needs. To me, for about a year, having him was just another drain on me, somebody else who needed my consideration, so I ignored him for that entire time. Thankfully, he stayed, never once reproaching me and let me just do what I needed. That year really hurt him, he was grieving as he adored my stepdad and I ignored him. I apologised and we worked hard on our communication. My mum was in hospital for 10 months last year and died in the November. My husband was there every step and I couldn’t have gotten through without him.
Grief is so hard to deal with, the loss is still very new, obviously I don’t know either of you, but from my own experience it may be worth giving him space and time to process his emotions (and you yours) don’t push him to talk. Let him know you’re there when he’s ready.
I hope you do manage to come through the other side, I’m sure you will. Space and time should help. Try not to worry about it too much if you can. Xxx
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