Difficult discussion about dying

When my lovely husband Doug was given his life expectancy. We had a honest and open and difficult conversation about dying . We both wanted they same things, not to be buried, we didn’t want our ashes kept in pots either. Both us want to be scattered to the four winds open and free spirits.
He is scattered in the sea at Looe and one day I will join him.
We both arranged and paid for our funerals and left instructions for how we wanted the funeral to be. We wanted to make it easier for those we leave behind.
The only thing we ever disagreed on was donor register, I do he didn’t, we respected each others decisions.
Now he has gone. :broken_heart:
For when it is my time, I have left letters with my Will, to both our children telling them how much we love them and how proud we are of them. Also all the practical things they need to know.
What really breaks my heart :broken_heart: is all of you out there that cannot do this because your loved ones died do suddenly and taken before they should have.
We had time to say goodbye.
Love :sparkling_heart: and hugs :hugs: to everyone.
Debbie X X


Hi Debbie, like you and your husband, myself and Jan did not want burials. We wanted to have ashes scattered in our favourite place, The Lake District. Its 5 years since we scattered Jan’s ashes there. We, (our grown up children and myself), have just been there again to place some roses, and say a few silent words. My ashes will be scattered in the same place. I have written all my instructions in a book, entitled “IF”, so that they know my wishes. We were married for 55 and a half years, so its been a very hard 5 years without her


Debbie, very sensible and we did also have that difficult discussion but I am so pleased we did. I have written instructions for our boys to follow when I am finally allowed to join my soulmate. There are so many things they need to know but it is worth the effort. My sister went and did very little so at present they cannot close her Facebook site, no password along with other things. It’s really important that we get organised. This week I shall be able to visit where his ashes are scattered, cry yes but it’s good to feel close. Take care and sending blessings to both you and TonyM xxx


Bless you Tony, what a beautiful part of the country. I’m going back to Looe this summer with my daughter and family to just sit on the beach next to where we scattered him.

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Thank you Susie, I been with my daughter all day, we talked alot about her dad, his final days and about when it is my time. She knows where everything is kept, how to find passwords etc and she knows to scatter me with her dad.
I’ve already sorted Facebook to, my children tell me I’m far too organised.
I hope you find comfort when you visit the place your husband is scattered.
Debbie X X

Thank you Debbie, they will be thankful that you are well organised. Take care xx

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