Hi, I’m really struggling with the passing of my mom. She was in her fifties and became very ill suddenly with cancer and died within a few months.
We hadn’t always had a great relationship as she was very young when she had me and struggled, which I understand. However as an adult I had been able to develop a great relationship although still had to remind myself of my position within her life to avoid being hurt or let down.
I have recently started having dreams where she rejects me over and over, and it’s making me feeling awful as I’m consistently begging her to love me (this was very much a reflection of our relationship when I was a child.
the feelings are creating a physical response and I’m really finding it hard to function.
has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing and provide some insight as to how they managed the feeling and got over this hurdle in grief
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Hi @CSM,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. It sounds like you had a complicated relationship growing up, but were able to build a closer bond as an adult. The dreams you’re experiencing sound incredibly upsetting, and it’s completely understandable that they are having a strong emotional and physical impact on you. Having vivid dreams is very common in people who are grieving, and other members here may be able to relate.
You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve read through our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent, including people who have had difficult or complicated relationships with a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
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