I am finding it really difficult to sort things out for my soul mates funeral
The funeral director needs clothes for my husband I want to pick out what he will wear but it’s so painful
I have to pick songs for the service I don’t know how I will cope doing that
Just thinking of this stuff it feels like I’m getting stabed over and over

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I was determined to do the best I could for the funeral - it gave me something to focus on. We looked at his favourites playlist and I focussed on the words of the songs. I can’t listen to them now but they were right for the day. I also didn’t want the eulogy to be impersonal so I wrote it and recorded it so that it was from me but I didn’t have the pressure of reading it out on the day. I actually felt calmer (not calm but calmer than at other times) on the day. The following day was hard though so make sure you have some support then if you can.

Hi Jules 4
Thankyou for your message
I too have been busy sorting things out even though it’s painfull I want to do it
I have picked the songs which was hard but I really felt like my husband is here saying come on you can do this in very proud of you
I think I will want to say something from me but will have to ask my son to speak
I am having the added pressure of the in-laws bickering about money
Basically they don’t want to put anything to it but want to have they say about things
Of course I don’t mind input but when it comes down them pulling faces when i said I want a burial for him not a cremation
My husband always said to me you do what you think is right don’t listen to anybody else so that’s what I’m doing
Marie x

I’ve been fortunate in that his family have supported me and agreed with my decisions. Like you say though, if not then it is the soulmate who should be doing what they think is right - they knew their special person better than anyone else.

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