My Husband 63 passed away on the 1st April after a short battle with cancer of unknown primary agressive stage 4 diagnosis 24th January no symptoms
He deteriorated rapidly after round 1 of chemo and was hospitalised , round 2 of chemo just made him incredibly ill
More hospitalisation,
Couple of days at home and became gravely ill , he was transferred to a hospice where we spent 9 nights and then he passed away he is survived by his parents at 90 and 88
I’m struggling I think I’m in denial
It doesn’t feel real
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Avryl, Sorry for your loss, Here we all have a good idea of how you feel as we are going through similar experiences. I lost my wife of 52 years just over a year ago. My wife was perfectly ok in the morning and died by the end of the day, I could not believe it. You are only a few months in to this and it does take time to understand your loss. Come on here for a chat we all understand. It makes me feel better.
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Dear Avryl
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a partner is life changing and it won’t seem real. I really don’t see why you wouldn’t be in denial, it’s entirely normal.
I lost my wife last December suddenly to a heart attack and I’m still struggling. Motivation is very low because I’m just doing things for me now. We were a couple, we did everything together, we were soulmates and I still feel we are a couple.
I talk to her every day and believe that we will be reunited one day on the other side. In the meantime I just fill the days as best I can. House keeping isn’t up to her standards, but I am managing to avoid the Miss Havisham (Great Expectations) look to the house!
I’m sure others in this community will tell you the same. Just take your time and do things your own way.
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Hello Avryl
Sending you my heartfelt love, I understand your pain and disbelief.
I woke up on January 8th this year and went downstairs to get a coffee before work, I found my husband in his chair, he had died of an heart attack, I tried to revive him, but to no avail, he was fifty eight, it was an absolute shock.
I was on my last week of work, I had given in my notice, to spend time travelling with Mark,
I still cannot believe it, I have lost my future, and the most lovely husband and father.
The shock has left me constantly in a daze, not knowing how I will cope personally , financially and physically.
You are not alone on here.
Take care xxx
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Morning, to you all. I’m so sorry to hear your stories regarding partners. I was visiting our son in the Netherlands and had spoken to my husband of 42 years that morning. I found 6 missed calls when I’d finished reading my grandson a bedtime story. The police calling to say my husband had been found dead. That’s 7 months ago and although I cry every day I am adjusting to my new life. You just get used to the new unchosen reality. Keeping busy (avoidance?)helps. I hope we all find some comfort in something today.
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Thank you, so sorry this has happened to you. Your strategy is the same as mine, I just try my hardest to keep busy. I am not a strong person mentally, my husband completely did everything for me, now I don’t know where to start, I am not really coping with the “new reality”, it doesn’t feel real. I am just plodding on, and not facing up to the problems, which I know will only get worse. Avoidance is my friend at the moment. It’s my brother’s funeral tomorrow I don’t want to go, it’s an unattended cremation, family and friends are going to his house. I can’t cope with lots of people, but I know I have to.
Sending you my love xxx
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My Sister in law’s Cremation yesterday, A small service at the Crematorium. Her husband could only do the service and then was taken home. I went for a walk in the Crem garden straight after my BIL left, managed better than I thought I would, then joined the rest including my children afterwards for a light get together.
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So sorry Avryl. We are all fellow travellers on this awful journey
Kate. X
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Glad that you managed okay, hopefully, it will go alright for me.
Sending love xxx
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So sorry to hear about your loss. My wife passed away on the 8th March and I’m heartbroken.
We had been together for 60 years and would have been married 58 this September. It’s so difficult for me to take on board, as it’s the same for others here.
I’m struggling to face the reality of it all, but face it I must.
I try to keep busy, allocating myself little tasks around the house. I intend downsizing and moving back to Wales as soon as I can, so lots jobs to do.
I’ve also booked a week’s holiday in Snowdonia in June, so went to buy some clothes for the trip this morning. I was doing so well this morning, not having cried, until I got halfway home. Then it started.
So sadly, you will find others here that have or are experiencing that grief is the price you pay for love.
Take care
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So sorry Avryl. but I am in the same position having lost my darling wife of 35 years on the 21st March.
I was her full time carer as she suffered from both physical and mental disabilities. As well as caring for her, which included personal care such as washing and dressing her as well as shopping, cooking, housework etc. I also run my own business.
I am involved in a difficult situation with a client who owes me £24,000 and this was getting me down. I was then diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which is hell.
My darling Angela who was only 67, ended her life and only told me at 4:30 in the afternoon saying “you have a lot of worries dealing with that customer and generally running your business, that you can’t be expected to care for me as well. So I have ended my life to release you from that burden. I love you”
Like you, I am in disbelief and I am struggling every day. Friends have been very good inviting me to their place etc. I go there, politely thank them but inside I just want to scream and run away.
Is this ever going to get better?
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Safetyjon, I am so sorry that you are have such a hard time. I lost my wife of 52 years a year ago, She had Parkinson’s, diagnosed back in 1994 I was her carer for 20 odd years, including personal care. My love lost her manual dexterity so I did everything. I went self employed so that I had the time to care for her. So I do understand the huge hole you have left in your life. My darling did not want to go we had plans for the weeks after she went. I really feel for you because I just don’t know how I would have managed if my darling had ended her life. You really have my sympathy.
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Rob05, Thank you for your kind words
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So sorry about your poor wife, and the way she left.
I ask myself the same question every day, but I can’t see it getting any better, our beloved partners are no longer with us, and it hurts so much,
I send you my love and condolences.
Take care xx
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This is what happened to my dad , he was diagnosed in November with no symptoms and told stage 4 cancer in 4 places !!! Had one round of treatment and didn’t make anymore !!! It’s so heartbreaking, I understand how you are feeling, sending a hug your way
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Hi my heart goes out to you, i lost my husband in November 23, feels like yesterday, i think im worse now than i was then i miss him every single day. I just keep trying to force myself to get up and move, its all you can do. Sending hugs x
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Hello Linda, I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. It is just over a year since I lost my darling wife. I will always love her and miss her. I am slowly learning to manage the grief, but it is slowly. Quite a time ago I saw this. " Time does not heal a heartache, or stop a silent tear, or take away the memories of one we held so dear." For me that is true. Yesterday coming back from shopping an Ambulance went past with blue lights, quite upset me, silly I know, but I should have gone in the Ambulance with her. Silent tear. So I reached out for a happy memory that we had shared, I find that helps me. I cannot help the the first two but I am concentrating on the memories, the happy ones.
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Hindsight is a great thing, we all have things we thought we should have said or done. We have to let it go though and grieve. Your right think of the nice times. Ive only just managed to sort my husbands clothes out and am getting memory bears or cushions made out of his clothes. He was a paramedic and i was so proud of him. He was just retiring after 32 years in the ambulance service. I miss him. Hope you can find peace, it will take time.
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