I lost my husband of 34 years suddenly 5 weeks ago.
I was numb at first, since then I’ve been expecting reality to hit me but it hasn’t !
It still doesn’t seem real, I’m not crying or missing him. It’s like he is just in the next room or something and hasn’t really died at all. This is a man I love with all my heart, why aren’t I crying?
I need this to be real, as much as I wish it wasn’t , how can I get over something if my mind is saying it’s not true?

Hello Suvicki,

I’m very sorry for your loss. The forum community are all going through their own grieving processes, something we share with you and know about. I lost my beloved wife of 51+ years in September. That’s her in my profile photograph.

The psychologist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross developed a model of the grieving process in the late 1960s in which she identified five distinct stages. The first of these, she thought, was denial.
So don’t add any worries to your burden that your thoughts at this stage may be “wrong” in some way. Let time take its course, and I feel sure that your perceptions will develop of their own accord.
Keep posting, and if you don’t feel much like writing, just keep reading. This forum is a Godsend.

Hi Suvicki,

I am sorry to read about the loss of your lovely husband. I agree with Edwin. You need to let time take its course. This is the beginning of your grieving journey. Your emotions are not behaving in the way you may have expected, adrenaline could be shaping your current thoughts. If you are able to, it may help to talk through what happened those five weeks ago and how you have got through the days since. It’s heartbreaking & so very hard…I lost my husband of 38 years, over a year ago…it could have been yesterday. There’s tremendous support available here, kind respects, x