Approaching the six month mark I stopped organizing the garage and went away for three days. People seem to believe that doing things, staying busy and having distractions are a cure for the grieving person. I for one have never believed this nonsense as I am now on my second grief after losing another husband. And the nonsensical distraction factor finally got to me. I opened a garage cabinet and when I saw all my husband’s computer supplies neatly organized and labeled, the impact was surreal . It was as if he had not died. And it happened because I had been distracted. To me it’s better to be present, to live every day with the full awareness of my loss. The setback today has been unexpected but triggered by an area of the house I had been working on for months without a grief attack.And then the hit comes from the left field. Horrible indeed.
No, distractions are just what they say they are, distractions. The loss is always behind them, waiting to pop up again. When I’m busy with people I’m happy, singing and laughing, but as soon as I’m left alone it begins again.
Tough times we’re all going through but we have to keep ploughing.
Yes very true but I found it useful to be distracted the first year. I can’t get motivated this year two years ago on Monday when my husband died -totally demotivated.
Depressed. How would I have got done what was necessary otherwise without distraction?Hyperactivity is a grief reaction.
I went to the choir last night.
It was tricky but having to concentrate stopped me thinking of anything else for that hour.
I cherish my distractions. I keep sorting and clearing things out. It gives me purpose and something to do as I still can’t really leave the house.
Yes, as we sort we will find things that set us back and bring on the sadness and desperate feeling of loss. It is normal and yes, we get tired of it. So, quit for a bit and tackle it later. It is ok to walk away from something that triggers raw emotion.
Much love.