My husband of 49 years suddenly passed away it iS 6months I am completely lost although I have weekly counselling . My Blood pressure is high We were so close and lived for each other I just cant cope anymore


I cant get through this loss we were like 2 peas in a pod. Nothing to look forward to I like others wish that I go to sleep and not wake up


Its very difficult to accept my loss I realised that there are many person in the same boat. I am elderly and we did think I would go first.My dearest hubby cried a lot when he was diagnosed and kept who is going to take care of my wife

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Hi Jeremy

I’m sorry to hear about how you’re struggling at the moment. I’m hearing how painful this is all feeling and I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s always someone out there to help you through this.

If you do feel these thoughts of wanting everything to end get too much, you can reach out to one of the following organisations who are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • If you have any concerns for your health or safety, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.

If you’re interested in counselling, we offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve this support, keep reaching out.

Take care,


Her funeral today,how am I supposed to get through this ordeal.When the hearse pulls up I do not know what I will do,to see my dear wife in that vehicle is so scary and I think I will just fall to pieces.The long drive to the Crematorium fills me with dread.I will not be alone but it will feel like it.I hope I can get through this day.

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I was in a trance when I said my final goodbye. I do not remember anything about that day. I am sorry that I cannot be more positive. Look after your self


I am having a real bad day,been crying like a baby for my late wife who died 3 weeks ago from that evil cancer.I was listening to our favourite music show on BBC Essex ,The John Leech soul show,the music we loved together.I just lost it completely and cried and cried ,I cannot see me living like this without her by my side after 32 years together.Our home was for 2 not 1,it is empty,cold and not where I want to be,She brought me warmth,happiness,love ,passion, it has all come crashing down,how can you go from 32 years to nothing.I am 76 and life without her now is not what I want.I cannot function on my own.Why oh why did cancer have to take her from me.Michael.

I feel I am never far away from the tears. It’s exhausting trying to be any different in front of people. I wonder if this is why we find solace in our own homes.
My coping mechanism is to not do anything myself and my husband Martin did together. I can’t look at photos or reminisce …… it doesn’t bring me comfort just pain.
My world has shrunk, I don’t look back, I don’t look forward …… so as well as dealing with the constant crushing pain in my heart I am also dealing with a life void of any enthusiasm or joy.
I’m only 57 and I don’t want to spend the next 20 / 30 years without Martin. My parents are still here, both in their 90’s and I pray I don’t have their long levity of life.
I’m sure it makes no difference to how or when you lose your soulmate but Martin died so suddenly that I had no time say good bye or prepare for this loss.

Dee xx


Dear Dee64

I too have shrunk my world. I go out for essentials and to look after our grandsons. On the odd occasion like today I venture out in the car trying to escape this existence. I could drive forever if I am being honest. On anniversaries I drive to the beach where we scattered my husband’s ashes. I exist in the day I wake to, never looking back or forward. I too never got to say goodbye.

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Oh Dee64 I feel for you,nothing brings comfort does it,one day at a time,yes easier said than done.Cannot sleep without pills but how many will they keep giving me,eating is a luxury when I can be bothered to do something.Beginning to hate this existence.

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I don’t know how to carry on with this awful feeling of grief never thought anyone could feel this crushed,can’t sleep,the thought of making a proper meal without my husband here is unbearable,I just think not another heartbreaking day absolute torture whats the use of getting out of bed.Trying to face things for the sake of my family,what a nightmare

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This is exactly how I feel,the total uselessness of life without your partner .It is a nightmare we are living in,I sometimes forget to eat ,sleeping is a luxury.The crushing pain inside never stops.I am with all of you on this terrible journey left to us.

So many of us feeling this heartbreaking pain so sorry for us all it really is the most devastating journey

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