This question is to do with place.
Does anyone think that there is a sense
that we stay in a place because our deceased loved ones are still here, in a way?
After someone dies, sometimes people want to move.
But I wonder if anyone else gets that strange sense that we are leaving them behind,
and maybe we cannot bring ourselves to do that, to leave them.
Hello Berit, Yes, I feel the same. I feel that if I moved house I would be leaving my beloved Mike here and moving on without him. This is still āourā house and it always will be. I cook in āhisā kitchen. I look out at the view that Mike chose when we bought the house nearly 40 years ago. For some people it may be right to move but for me I shall stay put as long as possible. Love and light. x
Hello I feel the same. I canāt imagine moving and leaving behind the house that he spent so much time and effort on . He made special areas in the garden so we could sit out even in the rain . We spent many an evening in the summer and winter with a drink in our hand , talking , laughing, other things!!
I could never replicate that if I moved as we built these places together. He said I should move to be in a better position financially but I know I can manage at the moment. People tell me that your memories are in your head and heart and you can take them anywhere. For me they are also in this house that we called home and after living in it for 35 years, 16 of them with him I know Iām going to stay . I am rooted here with him all around me bringing me comfort. Not everyoneās house becomes a home and there is nothing wrong with moving if it feels the right thing to do, we are all different. Wendy
Thanks for the reply. You are lucky to be happy where you are. That is a great thing.
Hi Wendy
How your post resonated with me. My husband, like yours did so many special things around the house and garden. In my dark days when things in the house go wrong I contemplate moving to a newer house. Mine is very old but we loved it.
I remember telling my very elderly aunt (97) when my uncle died 14 years ago that she should move nearer to me so that I could look after her. She refused saying John was everywhere in her house and she didnāt want to leave him. I remember saying very clearly that he was in her heart, not in the furniture or the walls. I now know how insensitive that was although it was meant with love. She asked me the same question a few months ago and it made me cry.
Itās been a year on 10th February that I lost my beloved man. The thought of uprooting myself and leaving all the things he spent so much time and love on leaves me cold. Last week was very tough. I took the week off work. I just wanted to be by myself. I absolutely wallowed in my grief, cried, raged, bargained and I am now exhausted.
I hope you stay in your lovely home. Little by little things do get easier to bear. I donāt believe I will ever āget overā my grief but I will learn to build my new life around it and just try and be grateful for my life with him although it was too short.
Sending hugs to everyone suffering.
xx
Ellie