Does anyone slip in and out of reality?

I lost my husband suddenly 18 months ago, and when I meet up with friends I seem to go into a some kind of ‘time warp’ and just slot back into being the person I was before!
Then at home reality hits, and I am back to being the person who has lost their husband.
What is going on?
Is this masking?


My beloved husband only died on the 4th March and I find I’m putting on my ‘brave face’ to appease the well wishers whilst I feel broken and drained inside. I think we do it because we have to.


HI i lost my husband just over 4 months ago and i find when i am with friends i find my self being the person i was before i lost my husband i think its because if i show how i really feel my friends would start to say things they used to say like move on and you will meet someone esle and i could not cope having to hear them saying it all over again and once i am home again i feel i can let my true feelings show


In the book Resilient Grieving the author (Lucy Hone) talks about distraction which gives a break from grieving and that it is a good thing and perfectly natural. Our brains need time for both so carry on and enjoy some time not grieving without feeling as if it is wrong.
Karen xxx


yes…so true…I would rather not meet up with anyone if I were to show the rawness of how you really feel inside. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband so recently, and thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post…this site really helped me alot , especially in the early days of loss…

Hi Sue11…yes, there is alot of truth in what you are saying. Nobody can begin to understand how you feel inside, and so we wear a mask like a protective shield from all the ‘well meant’ things that are said which can hurt.
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, and thank you for taking the time to reply to my post

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Hi KarenF
This is so strange. I have heard about this book and wrote down the title, and the name of the author only yesterday. I was starting to worry because there were situations whereby I was thinking that anyone who didn’t know me would not believe that I was grieving the loss of my husband. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. I will definitely order this book.