Does It Become More Bearable?

Mum had bowel cancer. She had surgery and fought it off. Then she had liver cancer. She was very strong.
She passed away a week ago today from sepsis.
She woke up the day before, very groggy-looking and confused. She kept falling asleep standing up.
Dad knew something wasn’t right so he called 999 on five occasions throughout the day and they were “too busy to send an ambulance at the time”.
24 hours later, at 7am the next day, an ambulance arrived and took Mum into hospital. Dad received a phone call later stating that it is unlikely that Mum will make it.
It all happened so suddenly. Dad and I watched Mum pass. We couldn’t leave her. I feel sick, annoyed, and torn up.
Mum regained consciousness for ten minutes saying “help me, help me”. She was only 59 and always active.
They gave her medication to help with the pain and then she went unconscious again, so they removed the support helping her blood pressure because they said there was nothing they could do.
The fact that she kept asking for help and all Dad and I could do is sit there and re-assure Mum that everything is going to be okay makes me want to vomit.
I’m so broken. Been trying to support my father and children. If it wasn’t for my children, I think I’d join Mum and leave this harsh world.
My father constantly mentions how grateful he is for my support and how much he is struggling etc. I understand this, but I’m struggling too much aswell…
This world is cruel. We really need her back!! :slightly_frowning_face:

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Dear @Genex

Welcome to the Community. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum and what you have gone through and are going through.

I am going to direct you to the following organisations along with Sue Ryder which will be of help and support to you and your family. You can also connect with members here on the forum under the topic Losing a Parent for support who have experienced what you are going through.

Sue Ryder on Coping with grief and bereavement

Sue Ryder Counselling

Cruse Bereavement


Please take care of yourself and continue to reach out any time. You are not alone. We are here for you all.