Does it ever get easier?

Hi everyone
I lost my only (49 year old) sister last year and then lost my beloved mum a couple of months later. I had given up my career to care for my mum and spent every single day with her. I miss them both terribly. I was on holiday when my mum died unexpectedly. Our first holiday in many years and I’ll never forgive myself for leaving my mum even though I had organised care for my mum while we were gone. I should have been there. To this day I still don’t really understand what happened. Was she frightened? Why did she not try to call anyone? Why did I leave her? She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. My life since has been so hard. Nothing is the same and I still can’t believe she’s gone. On top on this I am now financially at rock bottom as I’m trying to pay for the funeral costs as my mum hardly had any insurance & my sister had none. My savings are all gone. I’m on my own with my son and it’s so difficult. I had given up my career to care for my mum so I’m now trying to find work as I desperately have to start earning again soon. Every night when my son is in bed the reality of the situation overwhelms me and I feel like I can’t cope much longer like this. Every day is a struggle emotionally and financially. I just want to talk to my family but they are all gone. Im all alone. I just want my mum. Xxxx

Hi Nadine,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear that your mum and your sister have both died in such a short space of time - those are both huge losses to deal with at any time, let alone both together. As you were your mum’s carer, she will have left a huge hole in your life and it will be really tough to adjust to no longer having this role or spending time with her.

I’m glad that you’ve found this site and I hope it helps a little to have this space to share your feelings. You are not alone here, and we have lots of supportive users who understand what it is like to lose a loved one. While you wait for responses, you may find it helpful to read and reply to some other users posts.

For example, scotslass35 and drewbr29 have both lost their brothers: http://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/lost-my-brother-so-suddenly-and-my-mum-found-him
Melzie78 and Mel have both lost their mums: http://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/struggling-loss-my-mum-1

If there is anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, just let me know.

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