Does it get any easier?

Lost my soulmate on 23rd June this year and I am totally lost. He was taken too young, he was only 59. We had so many plans. I can’t see a future and can’t imagine the pain easing.

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Welcome to you, Albrow. You have come to the right place. YES, it does get far better. but it takes time. It’s only 3 months ago since my wife died after 50 years of sharing our lives, I certainly felt just like you in the first few weeks, the emotions drown us. But it really does get better, bit by bit, most people tell me that whilst they never forget, they build a new life and dont spend all their time thinking about it. It becomes a minor part of our lives, just thinking occasionally of the grief and having a few tears. It now happens with me only once or twice a day, and I’m happy with that, because I never ever want to forget her.
I’ve worked very hard at rehabbing myself, and it’s now only 3 months since she died and I’m happy with where I’m at. For many, it takes a lot longer, and I think it’s dependant on how hard we work at it.
I often think how many widows and widowers I know (eventually 50% of us have this to work through) and virtually all of them are leading new satisfying lives, but say they dont think of their partners all the time, just every so often.
It’s very difficult to believe at this stage, but it will happen and happen sooner with a positive honest attitude. Be confident!!
Good luck!!!


Hi albrow

I’m so so sorry for the loss of your husband it’s the worst possible thing imaginable.
I lost my partner 15 months ago and don’t feel any different to the day it happened I miss him every second of every day .
I know people say you will feel better but everyone is different and every relationship is different. He was the absolute love of my life and nothing will ever make me feel any better .
Someone said to me the more you love the longer you grieve so mine will be forever.
Just take it day by day even hour by hour it’s all you can do . I’m sorry you find yourself in this terrible situation. Take care of yourself
Hugs to you x

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Hi Albrow
I am like you it is 9 months now and I actually feel worse now why did he have to be taken he was fit and well before the accident. My whole life ended with him and I wake every morning hoping I don’t. I cry most of the day and there are so many jobs I cannot do on my own I live a mile from anyone and have so see know one for days. My walks have now ended as I have to have a knee operation and finding it so difficult to get about. I cannot stay in the garden as that was the last place I saw him fit and well.

Hi Albrow it is awful at the moment and I so wished it wasn’t for you grief is so painful but I realise that you learn to manage the pain better with occasional break through but they do pass I was in your place 6 months ago and although I still have break through moments I also have happy moments were I can remember my husband with happiness and do believe there is a positive future for me hang in there and keep posting thinking of you

Welcome. I lost my husband a year ago. I have to be honest, its no easier now than it was a year ago. I come onto this forum sometimes and just to air my innermost feelings does help. I know everyone understands. I hope you too, will get some comfort from others too.