Lost my mum on 02 October. It was a sudden traumatic death ( according to the bereavement counsellor) . My brain has gone to mush and there are no more tears left to cry . I found myself in marks and spencer looking for her . The security guard had to phone my partner to come get me . I really worried for my sanity in the beginning but with acceptance comes the void .
In the past I have listened to people who have suffered bereavement and been quite dismissive ( usually accompanied by the phrase drama queen )
And here I am ? An absolute basket case who looks for her mum everywhere and goes to call her 10 times a day
My question ? How long until the world looks normal again ?
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Hello @Liz12,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief: https://griefguide.sueryder.org/
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Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS: https://sueryder.grief.coach/
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat: https://www.sueryder.org/online-bereavement-counselling
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through - https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
Hi Liz12
I don’t think the world will ever look normal as such without your mum. I’m 3 and a half years on from losing my 74 year old mum to a sudden, catastrophic brain haemorrhage.
I too feared for my sanity, going from a very high powered job with responsibility for 200 people, to breaking down crying everywhere I went and forgetting to do even basic things.
I still have bad days and there are things I can’t do such as food shopping for more than a day at a time or going to places that mum and I love going to.
But things do get better and you get used to living without them. I’ve learned to accept my new life and you will too. The rawness definitely subsides but it takes time. A couple of years for me before I started to feel a tiny bit better.
Go easy on yourself and take things one day at a time.
Cheryl
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Hi Liz I’m sorry for your loss.I lost my mum last February.I found the first year and a half the hardest but for me it is less raw now and I’m starting to get use to my new normal.I never thought my mum was going to die so it was a shock and it is physically and emotionally painful.I didn’t stop crying and life felt so unfair.The world still doesn’t feel normal for me because my mum isn’t here but I think as time passes what happened feels further away and less surreal but the Journey is really hard.Take care x
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