Hi Mike
Thanks for getting in touch, sorry for your loss, I have only been on here a couple of days so am not too sure how it works yet but it helps a little knowing that there are people that care on here. you are right my house is so empty but my head is so full. When I felt down my wife used to say "its ok to not be ok " take care
Hi Winmick and Paul, so glad you are here, even if I am sorry you have reason to be…
you’re doing it right 
as far as I know anyway (I have only been here around 6 weeks since my husband died in October).
It would be more abnormal if we were OK my doctor said to me anyway. I have moments of happiness still. Let’s hope we all get more of those. Coming home to an empty house is devastating. I wish we could all live together somewhere so we can just have our grief in the open and not be so lonely but yes we would probably do each other’s heads in and then be glad to live alone!
Take care and wishing you some peace and that you keep talking, sometimes it get’s lonely even here I know.
@Mazz and @Cinders21 big hug to you both, yes i hope tomorrow is better (even if i don’t think I believe it will be, I guess deep down I must else I would have killed myself already… here’s to hope…)
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Thank you x x tomorrow, I have to go into work, discuss my return after Christmas x I want to, I need it, I need it to gain some control, normality … At times, I return to that shock feeling, disbelief … I looked at an elderly woman today, possibly 70’s, she looked so alone, so sad. I don’t want to be that lady, it’s so so vile losing people x I feel so very alone right now x
I hope it goes well Cinders, yes it would be lovely to have work day routine again and be “normal” for a few hours and people to speak to. We are lucky we have this possibility.
I know what you mean about the elderly people. When I was a young girl I worked in local corner shops where I lived and I used to talk with the elderly people who came in but sometimes they kept me and I would get in trouble for not stacking the shelves or cleaning the floor or something else I should have been doing and then I’d have to work overtime unpaid to catch up.
I remember one lady who came in every day for a quarter of pontefract cakes (liquorice sweets in case those are not everywhere in the Uk) and I used to wonder why doesn’t she just buy a bigger quantity to save herself the trip every day!! Now I know she would have been lonely… I empathise so much now I know loneliness myself and I know I only had a short taste, nothing compared to what millions of people endure every day.
Good luck tomorrow xx
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@Cinders21 I found work a welcome distraction, it very much helped regain a sense of normality. But we all are different and some people will require more time before they are ready.
@Winmick I’m sorry you have lost your wife. I very much agree, coming back to the empty, dark house that used to be our home is a wench I endure everyday
Winmick sorry you have to be on here with the loss of your wife. It’s extremely hard for everyone , however I’m finding talking to people going through the same type of issues that I am help a little.
Fleur Thankyou for the hug. God knows we all need one so sending you one right back xxx
I do hope your feeling a bit better and your just taking it hour by hour . It’s shite being on this situation without our loved ones. My heart breaks also for my neighbour who had her husbands funeral yesterday after she came home to find he had killed himself 2 weeks after my Stu passed away . She is completely broken and I can’t help thinking her situation is so much worse than mine. I’m trying to get some empathy back as I seem to have lost it with all my anger at the moment Xxx
Let’s try a commune xx
Cinders I wish you so much luck tomorrow when you have to go into work. It might help you put some order back into your life , but don’t be rushed if you feel you can’t do it. This grieving is a long hard process that we all have to contend with . Each of us is different but we all feel the same devastation and heartbreak with our loss.
Please be kind to yourself and go at your own pace xx
Much love and blessings sent to you
You can do this xx
FleurDeLis
Sorry for your loss, Thank you for your thoughts and wishes, its good to have connection with kind people on here
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Paul , Richard and everyone else who has replied, thank you for your thoughts. It is just so sad to read all the posts on here.
I find after 17 months the loneliness is absolutely terrible, it doesn’t seem like a home anymore, just a house to live in . The laughter and chatter has gone. I still think about my wife every hour of every day. I am sure you are all the same. Sometimes I wonder what’s the point of anything, but I know for our loved ones we have to try and go on with this existence.
Hi Mazz
I was in the same boat as you regarding a car. When Tony died, his car sat on the drive and I knew I would have to pluck up the courage to sell it. It seemed to me that I was giving away his precious car, which he loved and I was not happy about doing that. Then my son-in-law said that, as it wasn’t being driven, the battery was likely to die which would cause more problems and he told me to start the car once a week, and run the engine for 15m or so while I was sitting in it. If I could take it for a drive, so much the better, but if not, this should keep it in good condition until I was ready to sell. Eventually, I realised that it was too good a car to sit there, and that Tony wouldn’t have wanted that to happen to it, so I did sell it in the end.
Hope I’m not intruding but I didn’t want your husband’s car to deteriorate.
Hugs
Ann
Hi Ann
My girls have driven my car and my son in law had moved my husbands car a couple of times so we know it’s working ok. As he had it on finance it will be going back as I’m unable to keep both cars. It will be sad though as it was his pride and joy he loved it. I’m sure when they come to collect it I will break down as it will be another part of him gone 
Thankyou for the heads up though about keeping it working xx hope your as well as can be expected xx
Hi everyone, thank you for your good wishes. I will returnnto my work after Christmas so a good 9 weeks on from.my husbands death…I have been in today and feel so comforted around people who know about this x a few months ago, they were celebrating my marriage alongside me and my loss, to others has hit hard on the empathy scale x I’m finding that very comforting x These losses are most significant to us and I’m sure I will have blips and maybe even stops and starts but, my head needs to take thebputside world in to even start any healing x I am so determined but so alone without him x I miss him so much and it grasps at my stomach at it’s worst. I got.very anxious today and took half a diazepam to take.tye edge off x I got home to more gifts from.my lovely neighbours x Contentment and happiness is something I strive for, it seems so far away x However, I feel lucky and blessed to have such wonderful people around me x I truly hope you are all taking even the smallest steps forward x Every tiny step matters, do not underestimate the importance of those tiny steps x the sadness will always stay but we habe tobwork wirh it x i genuinely feel love for all of you x
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I now how you feel. My granddaughter and I cried buckets when we saw it being driven off the drive, but not by him.
I am doing ok more or less thanks, You know what it’s like. I thank God for my lovely caring family and it sounds like your family is the same. Where would we be without them? Take care. xx
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