Doing Well

Losing a partner
1

I’m so fed up with people telling me I’m ‘doing well’…at what exactly? I know they mean well, but after 9 months THIS is my reality…

Living

There’s more to life than living
However that’s defined
A need to share experience
Be loved and love in kind

So when the cruellest twist of fate
Destroyed the one that’s best
I just can’t see a reason why
Or understand what’s left

And now my life seems pointless
Just a trauma to get through
I simply can’t conceive a way
To live it without you

Each second, every minute,
Every hour through the day
You’re in my thoughts, your in my heart
This pain won’t go away

I try to do the things I know
Are needing to be done
But everything that motivated
In the past has gone

I try my hardest to be strong
And carry on the fight
But truly all I’m longing for
Is when I sleep at night

Coz then this nightmare that is real
Is taken far away
I know I’ll meet you in my dreams
So crave the end of day

I go to sleep and then at once
This pain I feel is gone
And me and you are whole again
A unity as one

But with the dawn reality
Soon shakes me from my bed
The joys of sleep are snatched away
I know that you’re still dead

Material things are meaningless
Without a soul to share
Some say that I’m still lucky
And I guess that comments fair

But truly in a heart beat
I’d give everything away
If I could have you back with me
Even just for half a day

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Thank you @UnityMan for putting into words exactly how I feel, nothing is the same anymore.

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Those words resonate with me @UnityMan. This is me at the moment. Thank you for sharing

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Hi @unityman
More words of gems from you.
Thank you.
I’m sorry it continues to be a long sad, trudging journey for you. I and many on here understand.
Those words “you’re doing so well”
I truly could happily punch everyone who says it to me. But I don’t because I know that they think they are saying the right thing, and it’s not their fault they don’t understand.

I’m a little further ahead than you. Gone through the first year. That was horrendous…but not for me… Because the pain, sadness, loneliness, missing are no different. Phil’s still not here, and I m still completely lost without him.

It was horrendous because of other people’s responses. The “you’re doing so well” was replaced with “you’ve done so well” “you’ve done all the firsts” " things will start getting easier now"
Really??? How an earth did they work that out???
Just using the word ‘done’ , makes it sound like that’s it. It’s over!!!
Guess it’s why do many grief sites acknowledge that the second year is often even harder. It is for me :disappointed_relieved::broken_heart:.
Thanks everyone for the space for me to say what I really want too.
Love, prayers and hugs to you all :heart::pray::hugs:

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Thanks for your kind words…yes the list of unwittingly inappropriate comments is long…people don’t mean it…but it is increasingly difficult. When people ask me know how I’m doing I respond with " do you want the polite response or the truth?"…it seems to register. Sending love your way :sparkling_heart:

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My husband passed away 25 august 22. The poem sums up how I feel and like you am finding year 2 no easier so far. Take care

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Hi,
My husband died on the 24th August 2022. Our wedding anniversary is the 25th August.
Take care, and be kind to yourself :pray::hugs:

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Hi @UnityMan
I use exactly the same response . ‘Do you want the truth?’
Or sometimes I just shrug my shoulders and smile weakly.
Both seem to work :confused:

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