Lost my partner 2 months ago.
It was sudden his heart… it has left me heartbroken, and I feel like my grief is actually getting worse,
I am sad all of the time, I’m dreading Christmas, and people keep saying oh the first of every thing is hard!
I’ve done His Birthday already, and what should have been our wedding day, and now Christmas is looming, and a new year, the thought of going into a new year without my partner is just terrifying me, it makes me sad…
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Hello, you are right it is ‘sadtime’ when we loss our special person and getting through anniversaries is really dreadful. I don’t think any one on this site is looking forward to Christmas and then New Year, we are all thinking the same and I suppose that’s nice knowing we are not alone.
It doesn’t make it easy and it certainly doesn’t take the pain away. I do believe it makes us stronger and more resilient but it’s at a price.
The first few months are the hardest and at times we feel we are going backwards, some days better then others and some when we just want to stay in bed. Take it slowly and be proud of yourself for achieving small things. Little rewards for the progress on good days helps. Remember we are all here for you and you are never alone along this horrible grief road. Stay safe and look after yourself. S xxx
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I agree we all you are saying none of us on here want to start a new year alone although we ha e family some of us it is not the same it is our anniversary this month 46 years I thought we would have many more as he was so fit it was all so sudden a life is awful with out out partners with us sending hugs to you all on here I know we all are missing having our hugs with our loved one take care xxx
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Rose, sending hugs and yes we miss them so very much. We to had 46 years together and I always say it wasn’t enough. Take care and thinking of you. S xx
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I know exactly how you feel. My husband died beside me in bed - a massive cardiac arrest and despite my efforts to revive him he didn’t make it. When it first happened up until his funeral it seemed like I was just going through the motions getting everything sorted and making sure our lovely sons were coping (which they weren’t) But now eight months on when all the financials have been dealt with and all the bills in my name I feel sadder than ever !! I’ve just finished decorating our lounge which we had planned to do and what now ? There’s only so much cleaning and rearranging I can do. What I do know I can’t wait for this awful year to end. What’ll happen next year who knows 
So bless you for sharing your story it does
make a small difference to know that I am not alone in their terrible nightmare.
Sorry for your loss.
It awful I know, I feel the pain like you, and I too was busy with organising things in the beginning, and now I just feel at a loss, and nothing left I can do for my partner… I stayed strong in the beginning planning things organising things, and being strong for other family members. Ow all that’s down I’m struggling to hold it together…
the Dreaded C word that seems to be celebrated longer and longer now with trees going up earlier and earlier, I can’t even think about that yet…
our grandson first Xmas and I’m gutted he won’t be here to share it with us, we will make sure he knows who his Pops is, . I
I think we should allow ourselves to be sad this December,
Take care of you.
Here if you need to chat
X
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Thank you for taking the time to message,
So many of us sad because of lost loved ones.
But knowing we have this forum, to share our sadness with others who are feeling similar to ourselves can bring some comfort I guess. Knowing we are not alone… all with our own stories but all grieving.
I am finding this very he,Paul with my grief, because feel I can say how I’m feeling without wondering if I’m going to make someone feel uncomfortable, because so many people don’t know how to react around you, when yr grieving… x
Thank you for yr message, I know it’s so hard for us al, and no time limit on grief because we all have those dates that remind us of things,.
I decided today to just let the tears flow when they need to, it’s ok to be sad, I think I just didn’t expect it after 2 months to suddenly seem like I was back at the beginning with the tears and sadness, but now everything orgainsed and sorted I guess I’ve got more thinking time, and the alone time where I’m missing him, is hitting hard now. X
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Thank you I know it’s gonna be a struggle but I am determined to not spoil it for everyone else. My family and friends have been brilliant and so supportive so now it’s my turn to be there for them. It would be so easy to sit in the corner and break down but I know I’m better than that and my darling John wouldn’t want that either.
Yes I’ll be sad, yes I’ll have my moments when I’ll need a minute but I’ll put on a brave face and plod on.
All the best
Georgina
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Bless you, and all thou time is tough we do have people looking out for us, and I’m sure yr John would want you to do that, as would my Bill, and I will do the same.
Take care. X
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I feel the same I feel like I am getting worse I just miss my Ray more & more with Christmas coming up I feel like hiding under my duvet for a few weeks. I think for now let’s just feel how we feel I think u sound like you’ve already dealt with a heck of a lot so let’s try & get Christmas out of the way with minimal fuss. Sending you big hugs
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Sending hugs back to you.
Be kind to yourself this Christmas, you don’t have to be looking forward to it, just take it as it comes, and take it minute by minute that’s all I plan to do, and just be kind to ourselves. X
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