The first year was difficult, because we all know the chaos our minds are in.
But I decided anniversaries could be celebrations, so I decided to do something special.
Her Birthday is March 20th. Last year I made a date with her to meet at the top of Mam Tor in the Peak District. Our little dogs come as well, she loved them. It was a miserable, cold, wet, day. It’s was a very difficult time, but we did it
We sat in the rain and had a really nice chat.
She died on April 18th, and I’ve learnt to play the flute, and I always go to our favourite beach somewhere, and play her a tune. This year I’ll be in Anglesey, and playing “Some Enchanted Evening”, as it reminds me of the evening we first met
Our wedding anniversary is on May 13th, so we went up to Northumberland and visited many places we walked together. Particularly memorable was the fish and chips on the quay at Amble.
I’ll admit there were a few emotional moments, but the number and depth of our happy memories far outweighed these.
Fingers crossed it isn’t raining again on March 20th, because I’ve got another date on top of Mam Tor. I’m really looking forward to it, even if my knees aren’t. There’s a brilliant pub at the bottom, so we’ll recuperate in there!
Dear @tykey
Bless you. I don’t dread anniversaries, even though they are incredibly hard.
I like them because I use them as a reason to talk about… Correction ‘SHOUT’ about my husband to anyone and everyone… So he is never, ever forgotten.
I talk about him always but anniversaries give me an excuse to go overboard, and I LOVE that.
@tykey what a beautiful way to look at celebrations. My husband’s birthday is 21st March and we lost him 8 weeks ago. I was dreading it but your words have given me comfort that we can get through it
Thank you @AlliH . Don’t expect too much too early from yourself, it’s very early for you. It was over a year before I felt strong enough to start doing these things. But you can look forward to your future.
What is really nice is that I can feel her hand in mine, when we walk on our beaches
Good luck.
Beautiful and you inspired me. You made me realise that it doesn’t have to be a big celebration with lots of people, it can be simple and just the two of us, as it was at the end. Thank you tykey.
Brilliantly put, @MrsC.x
We had no children, who I’m sure are brilliant in their own way. But the bestest times we had were those between just the two of us. I hadn’t thought of that🙏
My wife died on August 31st last year. She was diagnosed July 10th, we met on July 12th, married July 28th, her birthday is August 7th. Needless to say July & August this year are going to be tough. However, she loved life and insisted that her funeral was to be a celebration of her life. In 7 short weeks she organised everything. So I will try to bear in mind the sort of fun loving person she was when it comes to those anniversaries this year.
@tykey
I love the way you have continued to say “we”.
It’s how I want to talk when I talk about Luie. In my heart I know he’s with me with whatever I do, wherever I go, so to me saying “we” is right.
Tykey, I loved climbing mam tor with my husband. Up cavedale, up to the tor, along the ridge and back down lose hill. I cannot see me ever doing it again. I’m a nervous driver and public transport would require a lot of train changes. But you never know. Maybe I will be brave enough one day. What pub do you like. There is such a choice in Castleton. My favourite is the George. Or do you go to Hope?
Hi @Debsie1 . I usually finish up at the Cheshire Cheese at Hope , but we are spoilt for choice. They make my dogs welcome, and there’s log fire, which is pretty essential after a good walk. We are spoilt for choices for good pubs in that area. If you can’t join me, I’ll think of you both when I get up to the top. . Just to help remember your own trips up there, here’s my memory of last years trip. It doesn’t give you a clue of how shattered I was. Rosie and Crumpet just bounced up, even with their little legs!!
Thanks @Tenpin. It was strange to find that when the initial thought of doing something alone with Penny was upsetting, and I wondered if I could actually see it through. But they soon turned into memorable happy occasions, I really look forward to the next little, happy, adventure. I think I need some more ideas for the future. I have been abseiling and potholing just down the road from Mam Tor, but these were with a group of pals, and it just wasn’t the same as just the two of us, we need private time to sit and chat , with lots of smiles and an odd tear!
What lovely photos and great memories. @Debsie1 let the tears flow if they need to, I’ve only just been able to start looking at photos without bursting into tears. I can now look at them, especially the ones with his lovely smile, and get comfort and feel closer to him, guess it all just takes time, take care x
@AlliH@Debsie1
You mentioned looking at photos. Strange I can look at the ones I have in frames in the house but I can’t look at the ones on my phone or other ones. I’ve just shed a few tears while talking to him. I know he’d have been saying stop it now come on ! God I miss him. X
. Just to help remember your own trips up there, here’s my memory of last years trip. It doesn’t give you a clue of how shattered I was. Rosie and Crumpet just bounced up, even with their little legs!!
