It is a nightmare … can you find out about some counselling ? Ive had some … it does help you know xx
Everyone here feels like they would like to have gone first. But i could not wish anyone who is left to suffer the pain we still are facing. I dont have family who can help and my mum has dementia so have not told her about my husbands passing.
She has stopped asking about him on my recent visits so think she has forgotten him.
I am tring to do things during the day walk take bus trip as i dont drive Dont want to come back to empty house . The silence reminds me he is not here and then the crying starts not sure why guess this is how life will be for some time.
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I couldn’t agree more when my husband first died I screamed it should have been me because I felt my two sons needed him more than they did me. Two years have passed and I don’t think he could have dealt with this pain and loneliness so now I’m mum, dad, nan and grandad and try to do the best job I can. Play football, Barbie, lego you name it I’ve done it whilst giving support to my two sons who have lost their best friend.
Much love
Georgina
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Yeh its a tough road isnt it ?.so flipping horrible without them here. I miss him in the mornings the most. I wake up and think oh no hes not here. I loved seeing him in the morning … he had a lovely face 
youve done well ! Living by yourself is crap isnt it ? Nobody to support you or give you a hug … x
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Thanks Debs yes it’s awful living on my own. Sunday morning are a time when we had a lie in ate a late breakfast and planned our day. Now it’s just me a my little dog I rescued and the ironing. At least the sun is shining today and I can spend some time in the garden John loved 
take care 
Georgina
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I too am on that planet, what more can I add other than it is not a nice place to be and very sad here.