don't know how...

Losing a partner
1

to even start.

I lost my partner B last October. We had a very unconventional relationship. we were partners for six years but never lived together. that wasn’t us. I loved them so much though. They passed suddenly from a heart attack aged 55. Every single day feels just as painful as the day I got that phone call.

We had spoke the night before, I went to sleep and when I woke they weren’t here any more. it still feels so unreal. They brought light to my life and I feel so alone and dark now. If it wasn’t for my cats I honestly think I’d have followed her.
I was the person who stood up at her funeral and spoke about her, I made sure that I viewed her body. I needed to do that. I’m glad I did it too. The pain tho. It keeps me awake and catches me when I least expect it.

Something happened last night that really broke me and I know I need help, to talk or something o’r find a way of getting some counselling o’r something.

A hair. wrapped around a fairy light on my bed head. absolutely and undeniably hers, after seven months. I saved it in a photo I have of her in my bedroom and I just dissolved.

People keep saying to me she wouldnt want me sad. I hide it mostly anyways as I hate being a burden to anyone. Well I didn’t want her to die, but she did so she doesn’t get a say in the matter. I know folks mean well but….

I lost a close friend three months after my partner and that’s been traumatic too.

anyhoo that’s enough for now

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cat for tax

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Hello scarletstripes, so sorry to hear about the loss of your loved one. I lost my husband 3 months ago, and its been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, to be living without my best friend. And soul mate. I hope this site helps you as it has me, to be able to talk about your feelings because everyone here understands what you’re going through. Like the hair you found, that’s precious, now that our loved ones have passed we just want everything and anything of theirs, at least i know I do. I have a beautiful box, and inside I put all my husbands personal belongings., even the last face mask he wore, ..take care of yourself, and keep posting, I’d like to know how you’re doing.,as well as other people here who offer such great advice. May God bless you :folded_hands:

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I’m so sorry for your loss. My partner died suddenly in September last year at age 66. In the early years of our relationship we didn’t live together but that didn’t mean I didn’t love him. It’s strange how things can floor you. I’ve been going through his possessions and keep finding things from years ago. Usually I get upset and have to leave what I’m doing. Your GP might be able to refer you for counceling but N H S waiting lists can be long. Have you tried any of the AI chatbots online? The responses are very quick and seem very sensible. Keep posting on here and take care.

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