Don't know what to do for the best and crying scares me.

Today has been very difficult for me to navigate through the worst case of missing someone i have had since my earliest memory. However I have not had the typical response that I would have expected to experienced. I have faced mixed feelings with my worst emotion being a heartache without the tears. Now though I am finding myself battling with the permission of my loss.

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Hi @Robin3

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully, someone will have some thoughts to share.

Take good care,

Kate
Sue Ryder Online Community team

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Hi Robin

So sorry to hear of your loss. Ain’t nothing typical about grief - it gets us all in different ways. I hardly cried for ages - I think I was afraid to let go and make the loss “real”. Don’t know if that’s what you are thinking when you talk about the permission of your loss.
I wanted to talk about it a lot - my partner died suddenly - but others don’t want to talk. And I read a lot about grief, some of it more helpful than other stuff, but it did explain what was going on.
I hope you can find a way that works for you - look after yourself.

Sal

Exactly what I meant everything feels overwhelming to let go and allow myself to cry

Im so angry and frustrated katie

I don’t know if it helps but when my emotions really well, I try and go some where like the beach or for a long walk and find a place where it is safe to belly sob and scream and shout for as long as I need to. Even sitting in the car somewhere secluded. It really helps to let it out but feel safe.
It is exhausting and debilitating holding on and it’s painful and exhausting letting it go too. Just knowing there are lots of us out there experiencing similar helps me.
I hope you find you way forward X