Don't know where to turn

Brief intro, lost my elderly father last March 2022, I was very close to him and it devastated me. Since then I was doing ‘ok’ til Oct when i experienced life changing anxiety, chest pains and to the point i couldnt leave the house, I worked up the courage to leave the house to see the GP in Jan who diagnosed grief/anxiety and sent me away with breathing exercises. Since then my world has got smaller, I go nowhere, no interest, and my dads birthday just passed seems to have triggered the ‘proper’ grief. I cry all the time, angry, snap at my kids, can’t bear to be around anyone, husband says I should be getting over it by now but i feel worse than ever and see no end in sight. I am in my 40’s and have young kids so need to be able to function. Sorry for rambling


@Looroll so sorry for your loss its heart breaking losing a parent isn’t it. I just had my mum and lost her at the end of December suddenly, one day she was fine and the next gone. The grief/anxiety is not a nice feeling I panicked as my mum had a heart attack and didn’t know there was such a thing till I went to the doctors and do the exercises to. Its now just me and my son (I’m a single parent) and life is no longer the same as we knew it. You are not alone feeling like this I have snapped a few times at my son, luckily he understands when I speak to him. I don’t think there is any time limit on grief and I don’t know how long I will feel like this and would never wish it on anyone. My mums birthday is coming up soon and everytime I think of it I break down, mothers day and Easter holidays to and we would have all went away for a few days. Your kids will give you the strength but take it a day at a time and keep posting on here as there are so many that feel the same way you do.
Valda :sparkling_heart:

Hi @Looroll

No need to apologise, we all understand the pain of losing a loved one. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father and that you are struggling. Losing a parent leaves a big hole in our lives. Grief is a horrible journey to be on as your emotions are all over the place with good days and bad days. It is a journey to be taken at your pace. Grief can last for years with some people. I do think it might help you to have someone to talk too.

It would be worth with going back to the doctors to let them know you are struggling and you need help and possibly consider one to one Counselling. Have you considered joining a bereavement support group in your local area, it might help. You have taken a big step posting here, not always easy to do that.

Sue Ryder has amazing resources which may be of help to you especially the Grief Coach. There are loads of resources on their website including the ones below which will be of help and support to you.

  • Grief Guide - this is a self help platform
  • Grief Coach - text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This service is also useful for family and friends
  • There is also a blog on Losing a Parent

Be gentle with yourself, you are grieving. We are all here for you. Take care.


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