Don't let anyone try to 'fix' you.

Isn’t it amazing how so many people that have not lost anyone really close have all the answers about how you should get over your loss. They are all experts !! My grandson ‘gets it’ as he is a grief counsellor and sent me this.
Love and light.x

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That’s excellent, and funny, but sad too because that’s how it is. ‘They’ don’t understand, and a couple of friends who have lost their husbands keep trying to jolly me out of it, which is odd because I put on a brave face when I talk to them.
I think we just have to plod on as best we can. If they don’t get how we feel, that’s their problem. We’ll get through this in our own way. Good job we have this site and all our fiends on here to keep us grounded and safe. Hope everyone has as good a day as possible. At least the sun is shining.

It’s amazing how people who haven’t experienced it know how to deal with it best .
We just have to get through it as best we can and at our own pace and that pace will differ from person to person .
No only dealing with the daily loneliness is hard but putting that face on infront of friends family and kids is the hardest.

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It also relates to some of the counselling/therapeutic strategies with their emphasis on “think yourself happier” and that by being positive, all will be overcome which doesn’t apply to grief.

I went to a grief counsellor who said we would produce a timetable for rebuilding my life out of grief. That may be helpful for some people but my problem was that I had been a workaholic and found it easier to work 80 hours a week than cry for 20. I did not need to rebuild a life, I had done that, which was what caused my big grief to resurface after not being able to physically work anymore - out it leapt at me.

But still she suggested yoga, thinking positive and going back to work. What part of “working in a high stress essential service was my way of moving on and it nearly killed me” didn’t she hear? !

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