There is only one thing I want, I just want my mum back. If I could have her for even just one more day, I’d trade the rest of my life in. I feel so cheated, guilty- full of what ifs. How can I live on enjoying my life when she was robbed off hers at such a young age. She did everything she could to make me happy and now she’s gone. I just want to be with her again. This pain is too much.
Nothing feels fair, nothing feels good.
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Sanjab,
i lost my Mum six months ago suddenly from pneomonia and a heart attack. Very frequently in the first few months I’dsay to my self “I want my Mum or I want my Mum back”. i still say it sometimes. My Mum was 73, but I still feel she was robbed of many years. All we can do is hang on, until one day it begins to feel better and less raw.
A loss is horrendous and it will take time to come to terms with it all.
Take care
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Hi sanjab
The pain is so very real, I remember when I lost my dad it felt my heart had literally broken.
That was 8 years ago now, and I still feel the sadness and emptiness that he is not around anymore. Your mum would want you to live a happy and purposeful life. It will take time to grieve and it’s different for everyone. Grief is raw and provokes powerful waves of emotions. It will get easier, honestly. Take care of yourself x
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Hi Sanjab,
I feel like you read my mind. My mum was just 53 when she passed away in January, a few weeks before my 24th birthday. It’s absolutely agony every single day and all I want is her to call me or text me and just have a chat to her. I feel exactly how you do- it’s just not fair is it. How can life be so utterly cruel. I’m here if you wanted a chat- there’s really no pain like it zx
I lost my Mum suddenly in January and I wish her back everyday, but then when I really think about it even though she was only 64 years old she had a lot of health problems, she was in pain most days, so in a way I dont want her back if she would be in pain everyday but at the same time she’s my Mum. I miss her everyday, even more so this week as I received information for my youngest to start full time school (whenever they go back) which is a moment I would have shared with her plus its her birthday on Friday, which will be the first without her.
The pain everyday is awful and indescribable, but you are not alone! This is something which brings me some comfort, that I am not alone in my feelings and by sharing them with whoever makes me feel slightly better. Everyday I wonder how I am going to carry on, but the strength of my friends and family pull my through x
Hi tigger
I know exactly what you mean. My mid died suddenly last june of a brain hemorrhage. She was only 74.i thought she would live till she was 90. She had more energy than me.
I wish her back so much but I must agree with you. My mum had arthritis for 20 years and she had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis the year before. She was in pain.
Its normal to want them back. My daughter turned 13 last month and I cant believe she didnt celebrate with her beloved nan x
It’s heart breaking thinking about all the times she will miss with her grandkids, my two are only 7 and 3 but we were a close family so it hit them hard too. My mum had all sorts but ended up dying of a heart disease she didn’t know she had.
Take each day as it comes, today is a bad day for me!
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I have bad days every day but some are worse than others. My mums post mortem was expecting to show the brain hemorrhage only but it revealed advanced heart disease and a historic heart attack, none of which my mum had any idea about.
I wonder if it’s better that they didnt know?
I couldn’t have watched my mum die or slowly say goodbye to her. For my mum and I itz probably best that she went so suddenly. The shock is hard to come to terms with but the thought of watching mum every day knowing that heart disease was going to kill her. I just couldnt have done it.
X
Yes true, probably best it was sudden and they didn’t know. Yes everyday is a bad day and some a lot worse than others, the smallest things remind of memories x
I feel the same right now, I feel what you’re saying xx I lost my dad to covid-19 just under a month ago. Life will never be the same, I feel it’s all so pointless without him, he was everything in my life, I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster and someone is waiting around every bend to smack me in the face with a bat. I know he wouldn’t want me to feel that way, but I do, the light in my world is well and truly completely out and I can’t see it ever being shiny again xx It takes me all my energy to get up every day and face the world, after I’ve realised the nightmare is indeed real, again. Sending you huge hugs I hope it gets better xx
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Same situation with my mam
I am so glad I read this. I have been scaring my husband saying I don’t want this life without Mum in it. I don’t mean I don’t want to live any more, i have 2 little boys to look after. I just mean I don’t want this version of life. I never ever imagined I could miss someone so much. If I could turn back time I would never say “it’s just Mum I’ll call back later” or choose another activity over spending time with her.
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Hi starryowl
I’m exactly the same. I frequently tell my partner I don’t life without mum in it. I just dont know how to live without her or how I am going to manage this version of life.
You arent alone x
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It would never be the life I would have chosen. I feel so lucky to have had 39 years with my lovely Mum, but I am greedy & still wish I had more. I feel for others who lose their Mum at an even younger age. Life is meant to be shared with those we love & it seems cruel not being able to physically share things with Mum doesn’t it?
Absolutely. I was 48 when I lost mum last year but I lost dad at 27 and hoped I would have mum into my 60s.
I don’t think age matters anyway. I feel like a child who just wants her mum. She meant everything to me and I cant imagine ever being happy again. I’m sure you feel the same x
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