Don't want to go on

My husband of 39 years passed away a few days ago after a very short illness. He discovered he had bowel cancer which had spread to his liver. He died only 6 weeks after his diagnosis.
I have a large and loving family, but feel so alone.
I can’t stop thinking about wanting to join my husband and can’t believe that I will find pleasure in anything again.
I also feel SO angry and frustrated and the thought of feeling like this for months, or years fills me with dread.

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Hi Otoolea, so sorry for your loss
I too have these kind of feelings. My hope is that at some stage I will begin to feel less overwhelmed and more able to cope with life. There are posts here that say people have managed to some extent to continue their life, forever changed but they appear to find some kind of peace. Personally I would love to look back and smile at my amazing wife and all the beautiful times together, it is what is keeping me going, that and the belief Carole would want me to continue.
Sending love and hope you find your peace.
Joe x


Hi @Otoolea,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Your loss is so fresh and raw, and your husband died so soon after his diagnosis that you must be reeling.

I’m really glad to hear you that have people around you to support you, and we are here to support you too. You are not alone.

Like @joeb40, many people will experience feelings of not wanting to go on when we’ve lost our loved one. But I wanted to share some options for you to explore if these feelings become overwhelming.

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. We have also recently launched a Grief Self-Help Service, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. If you’re interested in understanding more about grief and how you can manage it, please visit

You deserve care and support @Otoolea, please do keep reaching out.

Take care,


I. lost my husband in February I feel lost without him. I have no family near me to talk to. I need a friend.

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice xx

Hope you find some support soon xc

Thank you Joe.
Ann xx

Thank you for your kind words and advice.
Ann xx

Do you live anywhere near St John’s Wood NW8 I’d be happy to meet for a coffee if you wan to. Valerie

Thank you for your kind wires