Double Bereavement

Hi everybody, 3 weeks ago I lost my dad, he was 82 and I was his carer, then yesterday I lost my husband suddenly to lung cancer age 56. This happened so quickly I had to miss my dad’s funeral which is when my husband took a sudden turn for the worse, needless to say how distressing all this is at the moment, I haven’t taken any of this in and the palliative nurse’s are concerned that this double whammy hammy could hit me at some point and I need help, but I feel as though I’m on autopilot at the moment and carrying on as normal

I am so terribly sorry for what you are going through. To lose your dad and then your husband is absolutely heart breaking, I could say I know how you feel but I don’t, I lost my dad 50 years ago and my husband four years ago and know what I went through then, in fact I am still grieving for my husband, but to lose two of the closest people to you in the space of three weeks does not bear thinking about.

Your mind must be in an absolute whirl. Do you have any children or brothers and sisters, or in-laws that can take care of you and help you because you need someone to help you through this terrible time.

I wish I could offer some advice about what to do next, but as I found when my husband died, was to take it step by step, try and separate the things that need doing into little piles and get through them bit by bit. It is not going to be easy, it will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but if you have someone to help you through this nightmare you will in time settle into a routine but it will take a long time before you will accept what has happened.

I kept my husband’s clothes for 2.1/2 years in case it was all a dream and he came back home again. Our minds go crazy, but, you have to get out of bed each morning and take each day as it comes, sort that day out and then concentrate on the next day because looking ahead into the week’s to come will make you crazy.

I am so very sorry but we are all here if you need to talk.


Sheila x

I am so very sorry you have to go through this, I can’t imagine what it must be like for this to happen like it has.

The only thing I can say is take it one day at a time, go with the emotion and please be kind to yourself.

I really hope you have friends and family around to be with you.

Big hugs xxx

Oh my god that is so heart breaking… I just don’t know what to say … I lost my husband 9 weeks ago he was only 36 … and I have needed family but for u to lose both … please come in here as much as u can the people are amazing and despite there own lose they are a tower of strength to others xxx