I cant believe my life at the moment. I lost my partner october 2024. Im heartbroken losing the love of my life. Ive only really started grieving for him. I miss him so much. My insides hurt. My children are in a bad stated. Then New year day 2025 i got a phone call saying my dad was really poorly, hes had cancer for 7 years bless him and hes fought it like a soilder. Hes been in hospital a few times last year with his keytones cause hes also a dieabetic so i thought oh no not again but I really thought he’d be ok. I was laid in bed that night crying about losing my partner and thinking i really need him at this time. While i was crying my sister rang me and told me my dads organs was shutting down i could not believe it this couldnt be happening to me. I rushed to hospital and when i got there he was laid there with tubes and wires around him. I told him i loved him and holded his hand he knew i was there cause he gave my hand a little sqeeze the next minute a doctor came in and told me there was nothing they could do and to let him peacefully pass away within an hour he took hus last breath. Im devasted how could thus happen to me what on earth ive o done to deserve this. What the hell is happening how im i goin to cope
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I am so very sorry. that is horrendous to endure.
the two main men in your life that you loved dearly …
treat yourself very gently. you will need lots of time.
these are large aching losses so you will need much patience time and care. 
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I dont get much time. I have two young children so im spending all my time to care for them. Theyve lost there dad and then there grandad i feel more sorry for them. I need to put them first cause all they have left is me x
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