Dreaded 1 year milestone

@Lcc59 Thankyou for your kind words, the scrapbook idea is a lovely idea for your son. To commemorate his life & for future generations to see him. Fantastic idea. Xx

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My first year looms very soon with the loss of my son. His flat sale completed last Friday and I was an emotional wreck, some with relief it had sold, but the emotional loss of losing him even more making him feel further away. I have to do day by day to get through it. My stepson passed away November aged 39, back to another inquest, police statement again, just takes me back again.

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Mjg .it was one year on the 1st February last year my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue took the next step of her journey and I can sympathise with you.were all here for you xx

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I had the one year anniversary on the 28th January, the day before I felt fine and thought I would get through it OK. The actual day I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks, my family were with me but when they left, and for the next few days, the pain was worse than ever. I have started attending a Bereavement Journey Course and am starting to feel better. I feel the second year is going to be harder than the first.

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Hello
My best friend Kim passed suddenly last year at 39 her year anniversary is coming up in March. I was hoping the new year was going to reset me a bit but still been tough itā€™s trying to keep busy but hard when you are feeling sad. Ironically you want to talk to them. I think the realisation takes people different amounts of time for you maybe itā€™s the 2nd year

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So today at ten to 8 in the evening it marked exactly one year since my Keef left me. It has been hard, challenging and enabled me to see things through a very different light. My family have been amazing as well as some of my friends, those who havenā€™t got bored with my grief, and now I embark on the first real year without him. I will always miss him as I spent all of my adult life with him from the age of 21 to 65. During the last year I often wondered how on earth I would survive, but I really surprised myself, mainly because I had a voice in my head telling me to carry on and not give up (I believe it was Keef). I have plans, 2 holidays booked and planning a holiday with the grandchildren in the summer. My life now holds a very different meaning, previously I was part of a pair who made decisions together but now I am on my own finding a way forward, itā€™s hard at times but I know he would not have wanted me to give up.

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Thankyou all for your contributions to the 1 year Anniversary thread. Iā€™m just glad Iā€™m amongst people who know what this feels like. 1 year is a milestone & at present I can still say Dad was still here this time last year, albeit in the last weeks of his life. Like everyone else, I canā€™t believe a year has come around this quickly. Those early days were horrendous & unfortunately those feelings are rearing their ugly heads once more as I approach the 8th March. My thoughts go out to those whoā€™ve reached the 1 year mark. I hope you manage to get thru the day in whatever manner you choose. Weā€™ve survived, barely it seems at times but we have & I hope if our loved ones can see us, theyā€™re proud of us. Xx

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I felt that the days leading up to the milestone were really hard and I felt like Iā€™d gone back to how I was about 1 year ago. However, I managed to get through the weekend and, probably due to the support of family and friends, have survived what I thought was going to be a really difficult day. Many things planned this week as itā€™s half term so will be doing lots with the grandchildren. I found that I got to a point last year where I decided to stop hibernating and feeling awful, instead I started to socialise again. This was really hard at first but I think that it was something I needed to do in order to create a new life for myself. In a couple of weeks myself along with my daughter and her family are going back to the Natural Burial site where Keef is in order to plant a tree. Weā€™ve been back a couple of times and itā€™s a beautiful place which I know he would have loved so planting a tree, a crab apple one, will enable wildlife to gather near where he is. Itā€™s hard at times to think that itā€™s been a whole year as it seemed, on reflection, to go so quickly but at the time I felt it was like walking through mud! Take care and all you can do is remember them and how you believe they would have wanted you to feel etc now. xx

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I know exactly what you mean when you say that you feel some of the old feelings are coming back to the surface as I feel the same way about my Mum. It will be a year on the 11th March so Iā€™m not that much behind you where itā€™s coming up to the first year!

I canā€™t believe how quick itā€™s come around and it still feels like only yesterday I was told rhe devastating news! I still have days where I donā€™t quite believe it and think sheā€™s still here, such a weird feeling!

I have never felt so alone, everyone seems to have cut ties with me, I donā€™t know what Iā€™d have done without this site to be honest!

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Yep, my 1 year mile stone is the 17 March, the turn of a key changed my life forever when I lost my son through drugs. I canā€™t believe itā€™s nearly a year, not sure how I have survived. Some days itā€™s feels like yesterday. I know I am doing better than I was, I have removed so called friends from my life which has helped, negative people. Go be honest I am selective on who I see, my choice, and if people donā€™t like itā€¦tough. This site is the one place where people car, understand our circumstances and not judged. Thank you

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Mjg i lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue on the 1st February last year and I still canā€™t believe that sue isnā€™t here.some days i think is it a bad dream. I also have removed so called friends especially one who tried to get me to start a relationship with his sister and my sister Wendy from Leicester.so i understand how you feel xx

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