Dreading christmas

I loss my youngest son on 22/01/2022 and this will be our first Christmas without him, his 4 year old daughter talks about him all the time but I’m dreading Christmas when he won’t see her opening presents and having a beautiful smile being happy. Hoping I don’t spoil Christmas for everyone.

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Sending love and hugs.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Xx

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Hi thinking of you this first Christmas without your son…Same for me too my only child my son 51 died in March .As a widow our little family gone.Christmas time will be so hard.Cant imagine buying and sending Christmas cards.Its unreal.Take care x x

I’m so sorry for the loss of your son Marg. Have you got anyone who you can spend Christmas with? I sincerely hope so.

Yes I have been asked by brothers who don’t live locally.I refused because I really felt I wanted to be on my own.However a friend also a widow lives in my Close said rather than go to her daughters this year she will do our Christmas Dinner.A kind offer which I accepted.Love to you xxx

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I’m so pleased that you won’t be alone.

Hello - so sorry to hear about your loss. It’s hard for you every day and Christmas heightens the yearning. You’ve got a good and wise Christmas Day plan. That will help you get through it. Im like you, I just want to be on my own to get through it without having to pretend everything ok, when it’s not ok. Your spending it with someone local means you can decide when to go back home and can hunker down for the rest of the ‘festive’ season. You have space to grieve and breathe. Sending hugs and the reminder that you have every right to grieve and every right to spend your Christmas in whatever way you choose. Sending hugs xxxx

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Thanks so much Nell2 .Your words mean alot às I know you will be going through it too so bloody hard.We just want our loved ones back xxxxxx

I so agree with you now I haven’t been on here a while been dealing with other issues with my boyfriend’s health. I feel the same way I really Love Christmas but I don’t like the feelings that I’m getting I’ve been down and crying because I miss my Theo so much this time of year. Last Christmas wasn’t that bad I was too busy being in denial and keeping busy that I did not feel pain, around Christmas time but this year is different I feel it full force. All I’ve been doing for the last 3 days is crying even though my daughter and grandkids are here from Florida and I love them dearly it’s just that I miss my son being here on Christmas. I feel bad because I feel bad and I feel I have to put on a happy face around the family. I wish everyone the best this holiday season and I hope everyone gets through it the best way that they can.:heart:

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Hi racy - I get what you are saying. I’ve been doing okish for a little while now, not good but bearable. I’ve avoided the shops and done all my shopping in line. A friend is coming with me to IKEA today. For some reason I feel really anxious about going. Decided to go anyway, it will be over in a couple of hours and I know I will feel better for actually going. As for crying it’s not surprising, all the jollity and and what feels like demands to be happy. It’s better to cry than just hold it all in. I find I can cry more than I used to, which overall is good. I’ve come to the conclusion that best thing to do is keep on keeping on as best I can. On January 14th is unbelievably a year since my daughter died. To call it a life changing year for me is a huge understatement. I miss her and I still feel guilty, seems that’s the price we pay for losing our child. It’s nobody’s fault but still feels like I let her down. Christmas will come and go and we will get through it. We’ve got this far. I wish you peace at Xmas and going forward. Xxxx

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Thank you so much it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way this time of year. They gave me comfort to know that it’s okay :heart:

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I have had massive melt down tonight i miss my son we had lovely Christmas last year with him and his daughter im crying so much my heart aches he passed 22/01/2022 so early days i hate Christmas x