Dreading her funeral

I’ve made all the arrangement for June’s funeral. It’ll be next Thursday on the 16th. She passed on June 17th. I found it so hard to talk to the Funeral Directors, although just a month ago I had to do the same for my mother, but that was by phone. June had already told our daughter what music she wanted, thank goodnes, I couldn’t have chosen, but I agree with her selection. I know I going to lose it when they play “You’re Still the One”.
Telling people that they couldn’t come because of the 20 people limit was hard, basically telling friends that they are 2nd in line. I guess they understand, but it’s not nice to hear.
I’m dreading the funeral itself. Our daughter isn’t sure she’ll actually go and and I can’t insist that she does because I don’t want to be there either.
I’m going to see her tomorrow. I was with her when she went, but I feel the need to see her one last time before we meet again.
I write to June evey evening. Just telling her how I felt durng the day.
I just miss her.

Hi. I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my 53 year old wife end of may suddenly. For the service because I only was allowed 20 people I ordered the web service they do. Might be worth asking to see. If your daughter is unable to attend it gives a chance to see it privately. I miss my girl every minute of every day.

Thank you Jay
I’ve already booked the web service, June’s sister & family are in Australia so they can see it.


1 Like

I guess similar where can viewed after. I set a video camera on screen to record. And left it. Could not watch it but thought I would do it just in case.
Second worst day of my life

Hi Dave, I am so sorry that your wife has died and that you are now arranging her funeral. It is the most surreal experience and one which none of us can ever imagine or be prepared for.
My husband died very suddenly last November and I still can’t believe that instead of preparing for Christmas I found myself organising his funeral.
The night before the funeral I was adamant I couldn’t possibly attend but somehow the following morning I was up early and got myself ready. Unbelievably I applied make up as if I were going somewhere nice and needed to make an effort. In some bizarre way I felt I didn’t want to let my husband down.
None of us who has attended our soulmate’s funeral will have any idea how we get through the day but we do. So will you and so will your daughter. I didn’t believe people who told me I would but I did. So did my two sons who like me were utterly heartbroken.
Your friends who are not able to attend because of limited numbers will not feel affronted and certainly not second best. The day is not about them - their priority is to support you and your daughter when you will need them long after the funeral.
I remember only too well the overwhelming feeling of having to focus on the funeral of the person I loved most in the world while at the same time just wanting to hide myself away and do nothing.
I appreciate that lockdown has

Only added to such a sad day but you will cope. Thinking of you

1 Like

Hi Dave sorry for your loss the funeral will be surreal 2nd worst thing to have to go through but some how we get through it. 3 months since I lost my husband 2 days after went into lockdown and only allowed 6 family members sending hugs x

Thank you all. I saw June last Thursday. They gave me time to just stand there and look at her for the last time. It hurt so bad and I was a wreck afterwards, but I’m glad I did. Latest rules for the Crematorium, no singing hymns because of the virus. Everything is ready now, just finalising what I’m going to say which is easier said than done, but I know what I want to say - that I love her and we’ll be together again.

Had to tell one of the neighbours the time the cars are coming, then came indoors and cried. I hate this week, but I’m not ready for it to be over.
Take care all

I found I was saying and doing things that was so wrong. Talking to directors, banks everything was so unreal. But you have to do it. You almost go on autopilot.