November 24th 2022 is the date I am dreading. I hate the date so much. It’s the date I lost my mum 6 years it was a Thursday
Thank god I’m of work on the day to come. I continually relive the day in my head wishing I wasn’t in work the day my mum left me when j should of been by her bedside in hospital holding her hand telling her j loved her. J lost the only chance to say goodbye but it wouldn’t of been goodbye because I would of known that day I’d be joining her when mg life is over. It’s a day that can’t come quick enough for me. Roll on that day
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mum 6 years ago. I understand the pain of where you are coming from. I was not with my dad when he passed away and did not have the chance to say goodbye.
Please try to take comfort in that you had no control over your mums passing. You were not to know she was going to pass away while you were in work, sometimes our loved ones prefer that we were not with them when they pass away. It could be that is because that is the last image you have of them. Your mum would have known you loved her.
There is a useful Grief Guide that contains information to help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief and helps you explore your emotions and feelings. It might be of help to you.
Please be gentle with yourself and take one day at a time. We are all here to support you, you are not alone.
That’s just it I am alone
One of the most difficult parts of a bereavement can be the feelings of loneliness that comes with it, nothing can prepare you for it.
Cruse Bereavement have advice on how to cope with the Loneliness . It would be worth having a read to see how it can help you.
If you type in the search bar Loneliness you can connect with members here who have experienced and been in the same position as yourself.
I do hope the above will be of help to you.
I’ve learned a lot about grief and what it does to someone. I’ve been on an incredible journey whilst all the time recognising I am so broken hearted in so much pain. It’s a pain that no one ever experiences until they lose a mum. Never in my entire life have I felt so much pain. I don’t think I have truly cried as much as I want and I know why because I’ve never had the time to myself. I mean I have cried with songs that remind of my mum. I play them continuously sometimes
I miss my mum I can’t stop thinking about her and all the wonderful memories she gave me. It’s something to hold onto. I would give absolutely anything for my mum to see how my life has changed. If only she could see in my job that I love doing. I remember a day when she seen me in my uniform and the look of how proud she was. The smile said it all.
She might she just might.
By being the person she made you, and all the love she gave you, she’s with you every day … take care
It is 6 years on 1 December since my mum died and I am tearful leading up to it. I’m glad that you are not at work on that day. Try not to feel guilty
Thinking of you