Yes, “what now” sums it up exactly
People will tell you to get on with it, start a new life, the funerals over, etc etc.
But it’s not that easy and wont be fir a long time if ever. I try not to give advice because we’re all different and cope differently. But just take it one step at a time, one day at a time and gradually you’ll feel that maybe you are getting there.
Sending you hugs
Take care x