dreaming about the deceased

I wonder how it is for others when you dream of your deceased loved ones.
Does it comfort you? I find it is of comfort, but then of pain, because the dreams
are strange … and they leave me clinging to the past.

It can be disturbing …

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Oh well I am queen of the dreams/nightmares. They come and go. But they Used to be every night. I’ve had a few lovely dreams but when I wake up I find I’m more sad because it’s not true. Most of my dreams consist of mum in the hospital dying. Me trying to get the drs not to tell her she has cancer. Mum crying that she is dying and me holding her while she dies. Which is what I actually did do at the end. Those dreams can leave me on edge all day

thank you for answering. you did the best thing at the end, to hold her. you have not that regret. they leave on edge all day, too. but they comfort me, that they have returned, but not if the dream is too weird. when they are distorted, it leaves me more messed up. I guess we cannot choose. I find this world very hard, and that the fact that I must negotiate it without them … it is not a good world, right now.

Hi I have had some wonderful dreams of my husband. In the early days they was regular. I started to expect his visitations and they always made me feel great. I knew he was with me. He was showing me things and helping me with problems, even answering my worries. The last one was on my Birthday and I woke up in the early hours, held a photo of him close and drifted away to where he was waiting for me. We held each other and he said he loved me and he looked so well with a light around his face. I felt as if a weight had been lifted off me and I had a lovely Birthday, because he had remembered and I felt he was making sure my day was a good one. Of course I came back down to earth afterwards. I rarely see him now and know that he is leaving me to cope on my own. I do have the occasional feather drift down by me and a Robin greeted me at the gate recently so he’s still around. Yes any little contact is a comfort for me. xxx


sound lovely. I am sorry there are fewer. what a gulf between you now. my best dream was my parents coming to “get” me … they were taking from some sort of looney bin and my mom was holding me and my dad was organizing my departure. I think the looney bin was the world. thanks for writing. it can feel good to get it off of ones chest.

Hi. Berit.
Just before my wife died she told me her parents had visited her and were waiting to take her away. She had dementia but was also very psychic.
Was this a truth hidden from me but true for her. (Both her parents are dead). You are right about the world. It’s crazy!!!
Take care. John.


Hi I have now started to have ‘normal’ dreams without Brian in them although he is usually somewhere in the background unseen. In my dreams I am usually lost and trying to find my way back home or trying to get a bus that never appears. In one of my dreams an ex boyfriend of mine did appear and although he said nothing did lead me along a track to where I wanted to go. Of course I always wake up before the end of the dream so never quite get to where I want to go. Last night I dreamt about that bus that never appears and decided to go and find Brian for a lift, of course I didn’t find him either.
I think these dreams are reflecting how I feel. I am a little lost and trying to find my way in life again and of course when I go to find Brian I never do find him. When I was in a bad marriage I kept dreaming I was being chased and running but never caught however as soon as the marriage ended the dreams did as well.

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I wrote this some time back, but I appreciate the replies. I am reading them now, and they are so helpful. the internet is great in that it connects us, but it is no substitute for real people, and real conversations. I want so much to move on, because that is life: we all move on this planet, in the space-time continuum. but with the pandemic, and poor economics for many, I have not been able to “move-on”. I am stuck here for the time being, and my new dreams are of no help. last night, I dreamt we were all to risk our lives sliding down the side of a canyon, to get to something, but a chart showed the very poor odds.

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I hope it was “true”. these things seem so normal and real, so I wonder how they may not be.

I reread your reply. On reflection, I remember my mother said that my father and her brother, had visited. Thanks. It makes me think again, perhaps there is more to this world, than this world.

I lost my dad nearly 9 months ago now and recently I keep dreaming of him when he was younger (how he looked when I was a teenager). I suspect that this is when he felt physically and mentally great and shows up deliberately like that to me. I also had a dream recently where he looked the way he was before he passed and I argued the case that he was no longer with us as he didn’t believe me. That particular dream disturbed me to be fair.

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oh it would disturb me, too. meaning, he did not believe that he was dead?

Hi. Gayle. Dreams should never be taken on face value. Dreams come in a language all their own and so few of us understand their true meaning. If we dream of Elephants it’s how we see Elephants that’s important. Big ugly dangerous beasts, or loving kind big animals that care for their young. The interpretation of a dream will be based on how YOU see things.
That’s why it’s important to know the person before any interpretation. Your dream about your dad was, in my opinion, a result of memory. We all live in a world of opposites. Light/dark. Good/Bad etc. You seeing him as young emphasizes the difference to what he was like later, the opposite. But he is still you dad. Then and now makes no difference whatsoever to that. You loved him and he you. That will never change.
Try not to be disturbed by dreams. They are messages from the unconscious. They tell us something about our inner selves. When we sleep all inhibitions drop away and we may see more clearly. It may be that what comes through them is from another source. Jung and Freud placed a lot of emphasis on dreams when treating patients and they were right. So many who dream of things they feel ashamed about misplace their emotions. Dreams talk in symbols. Symbols are representations of something else. The menu is not the meal.!
Take care and if you get any more dreams write them down and take a good look. You may well find a lot of comfort there. Blessings. John.

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