Dreams, I need to be careful what I wish for.

I have been desperately looking for signs and wishing for dreams since my husband died 4 weeks ago. I was thinking about white feathers, rainbows, cloud formations and feeling his arms around me.
I have had two dreams that didn’t make me happy. The first one he was a bit miffed because his razor was missing. I explained that I had told the hospital that I did not want his toiletries and to dispose of them. Then another dream last night where he said that he may as well not be here because I wasn’t taking any notice of him. My parents were also there, they both died 20+ years ago.
I am now thinking that I need to stop constantly talking to him and writing to him and let him go.
Sorry, this sounds unhinged. He never believed in an afterlife or signs. He was also never grumpy or disappointed with me, so it wasn’t like him at all.
I expected to feel better if I had dreams or signs, not sadder.

I think dreams are a really personal thing and what and how you believe in them can be so varied. What ever is best for each person I think is absolutely fine.
I’ve had 2 also in 3 months. The first was he came back through the door and was with us, so I woke up crying as I knew it wasn’t real. The next was a chaotic mess of bikes, racing through street and general chaos which made no sense.
I find dreams for me as just a reflection of what is going through my mind and it trying to process it all, but I sleep so little that I rarely dream and am glad for that I think.
I don’t really look for signs any more as I found I was looking for them all the time and getting upset when I couldn’t see them.
I know he is in my heart and will be forever so I am content with that. I know what he would be saying and thinking as we were so attuned and that gives me comfort on my darkest days. I might not listen to what he would say at the moment because he never had to experience this huge loss, and so I’m going with what I think is best for now.
I do believe in an afterlife in some form, and it brings me comfort to think he is safe with my other loved ones, and that when I die I can see him again.
He won’t be grumpy or disappointed in you at all - he will just be sending all his love to you and trying to give you strength. Sometimes it just gets a bit muddled in our heads with all the sadness and grief getting in the way xxx

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Please dont be discouraged by a couple of negative dreams - I lost my Mum 8 months ago and long for a dream where she’ll hold me and tell me she’s ok and watching over me. Ive had lots of dreams about her, some nice, some just bizarre. I dont know what i believe in terms of afterlife, but i dont think that every dream is a visitation, sometimes its just our brain trying to process things. My Mum used to dream that my late Dad came back and would tell her off for throwing out his things “because i always said i would come back”. But that stems from whenever my Dad travelled abroad without Mum, she’d tell him to have a nice time but make sure he came back, and he’d reply that he’d always come back to her. :heart:

I still talk to Mum now even though i dont know if she can actually hear me. But its a way of continuing that relationship and it brings me comfort. So just go with whatever helps you.