I spend a lot of my waking hours thinking of my recently deceased wife. Why isn’t she in my dreams? I wish she were. Has anyone else experienced this?
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Hi Ed9.
I haven’t dreamt about my lovely husband since he died despite him being on my mind almost constantly.
I’m not really a dreamer anyway - Mr Wingingit was the one who had vivid dreams.
Funnily enough, a dear friend of mine who has been my absolute rock since my bereavement, said she had a dream about him shortly after he died.
She said he strolled passed her house, smiling and happy and waved to her.
I took that to be him sending me a message, via her, to say he was OK where he is and is doing well.
I take messages wherever I can find them these days.
Whatever gets us through this, is my motto.
Maybe in time we’ll dream perhaps?
Maybe it’s too soon yet and would be too unbearable to wake up and find it wasn’t real?
Take care. You aren’t alone with this experience, even though it feels like it sometimes.
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Hi Ed9, I had a really weird vivid dream just after my husband died. It’s been sixteen months now, very occasionally he pops into a dream.
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I was aware of hubby at my side of the bed & a kiss shortly after he passed.
That reassured me.
Our daughter was told at a reading the person who passed won’t “come back” in the first year, but keep speaking to them as they are around.
Who knows?
Take comfort where you can get it.
G. X
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I am like you Ed, I would love to dream about my wife Carole but not happened yet.
I even had her photo next to me for the first few weeks when trying to doze as I read somewhere that the last thing you think about whilst awake is what you dream about.
Didn’t work, I just cracked the glass by mistake when tossing and turning so gave that idea up.
I now use an audio to help me sleep which really helps but still not the dreams I would want.
I am sure we will, until then we have the beautiful memories of our loved ones to offer comfort.
Joe
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My wife does appear in my dreams sometimes.
Not always, yet from time to time it happens.
My girlfriend #zero said she would appear in my dreams; and so it was.
(No deception involved, I identify as polyamorous and my wife was fully aware of my other relationships).
She became close friends with one of them, not so much the other two - didn’t necessarily approve of me dating a married lady with kids…
All three ladies have been immensely supportive since my wife suddenly and unexpectedly passed.
If it weren’t for them in my life, I may well have become even more suicidal.
Mercury
I always think about my wife and she is never in my dreams.
At the various group meetings i found that none there late loved ones were in the dreams which is very strange as we all loved them so much.
John.
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Having said I don’t dream of Doug much before, I dreamt about him two day running last weekend. It was so vivid for a few seconds when I woke up, I thought he was in the kitchen making a cup of tea.
Debbie X
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My late wife does still appear in my dreams from time to time.
Some of these can be - quite weird. Yet, at least for me, it does happen.
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My Dad appears in my dreams from time to time and he died in 1999. It’s normally been at important times in my life when I’m in dilemma. He was my guiding light in life and seems to still be. Sometimes it can send me back to week one and I can cry just as hard now as I did then but for the most part it’s comforting. My mum passed more recently and I had a dream last week. I could see her but couldn’t catch up with her despite me shouting Mum. She was wearing clothes she wore when she was in her 50’s that I’d long forgotten about. It was her happiest time then. I struggle with wanting to know she’s ok and I wonder if that was her trying to tell me that she is. God I miss them both. Thanks for listening x
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It can be. Part of them lives on in you, maybe not the complete person, yet still a piece of what they were.
The Japanese religion of Shinto has elements of this, where ancestors are frequently venerated, and consulted for advice by their descendants. Dreams are part of that.
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I was beginning to think that dreaming of my wife might be traumatic and perhaps it’s best that I haven’t seen her in a dream, then this morning there she was. She seemed to be doing some cosmetic treatment to a customer in a shopping centre, I stared for a minute and it felt really good to see her. She didn’t notice me, but then I realised I was in my pyjamas and went off to change my clothes. I awoke and felt very pleased that I’d seen her at last, 11 weeks since she passed.
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Aw mate that’s great, well done you.
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Oh that’s fantastic Ed9, I’m so thrilled for you. Perhaps she just needed to come to terms herself and settle in to her new normal and find what her capabilities are. Hopefully you will have many more moments like this. I have a book of dreams and their meanings, gifted to me long before the internet and when the library used to be busy. To be dealing with makeup means “that we have a choice as to the sort of person we want to be”. I hope this and the fact you’ve seen your beloved has brought you a glimmer of comfort if not just for today or a few hours.
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Oh Ed9
You don’t need to dream of her. Your daily consciousness brings her to you. And your thoughts and memories are much happier.
My father died a month ago and every night I dream if him. Him in pain, trying to cope and every morning I feel that depth of pain. Day time memories and signs are much happier xxx
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