Hello everyone I would like to ask you about dreams. I have always been able to recall a lot of my dreams and some of them in the past were very vivid and even funny although hardly ever had it scary. Since my husband died I have not had any memory of any dream I know we all dream but I cannot remember any. I do so wish I could dream of him it would be a way of seeing him. I wonder if people do dream of their loved ones and if it helps at all. Also and to give it U am repeating myself but when he died I was very ill in hospital. He was brought into the same hospital and I was not told until after my opinion and I sat with him as he died. I then had to have another very long op. I spent a lot of time in hospital alone I have no family at all . I used to think I was going to explode with grief and so I would imagine that all that I was experiencing was not real but that I was in fact in a coma and that when I woke up I would find that he was still here sitting by my bed waiting for me. I still do this sometimes. Just shows the utter desperation of grief. What with the lockdown and that I have just lost my job and am the wrong side of 60 I am fearful for the future practical as well as emotional. After losing my love all that I hoped for was to be able to work until I retired - in just over a year and to live quietly and have a holiday (my escape) every so often but now the future is even more grim. The condition U am left with after my illness makes a lot of things hard and I wonder how I will cope physically as well as emotionally. Good wishes to all of you.

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Bell I am so sorry to hear about your own illness and that your darling died while you were in hospital yourself. I hope you can cope with everything life has thrown at you. You have written on here which is very brave and others will give you their support. We are all going through the most terrible, frightening, lonely time of our lives. All we wanted was to carry on with the wonderful life we had but it has been ripped away. What did we do to deserve this? What did John do to have his hopes and dreams destroyed? I also have vivid dreams almost like a film. Since he died I have had some where I see him but he is leaving me. I woke up very upset. I now try to think lovely thoughts about him as I fall asleep. The bad dreams have stopped and one night this week I dreamed he was hugging me. He was such a loving man. Lots of kisses, big hugs and we told each other how much in love we still were after 40 years together every day. John frequently had dreams in which he had lost me. He would tell me about them. I am worried he is looking for me now and doesn’t understand why he can’t find me.

I have posted on dreams before and it can be an interesting but complex subject. During my counselling days I made a study of dreams along Jungian lines and used it a lot to help people. Dreams are never ‘oh it’s just a dream’. Some dreams, little dreams, may be the result of what has happened to us during the day, but ‘Big dreams’, the ones we remember vividly, are not to be ignored. If we do we may lose a valuable insight into our deeper selves and, as I believe, possible messages from another place.
Dreams come from the unconscious mind, the part over which we have no control. Our conscious mind, the one we use everyday, we do have some control over. The unconscious is the repository of all that has gone before in our lives. Nothing is ever lost. We may think we have forgotten, but we never have. I also believe that the unconscious, because it’s beyond our control may well be the gateway to an understanding of death. Even so called ‘nightmares’ have a great significance. A ‘frightening’ dream is only so because of our immediate interpretation of it.
Everyone dreams, but remembering them after is sometimes difficult. Dreams have an evident content and a latent one. Superficially dreaming of an Elephant may have no meaning to you, but it’s latent content, analysed properly, may have a deeper meaning. Popular books on dreams are useless. Don’t bother. Dreams are unique to each individual and there are no common interpretations. We may well dream later when our grief is not so intense. Having dreams about losing someone and trying to find them is not uncommon. But dreams are ongoing. If you keep a dream journal you may well find that there is a
progressive element. They move on and you may find that there are messages coming through. If you fear dreams then that message can be blocked by fear. Dreams do need careful analysis by a competent person. Many counsellors use dreams as a tool in helping people. Understanding is also powerful tool because it takes the mystery out of the pain. The language of dreams is symbols and metaphors. There is often no direct language that comes through. Try not to be frightened by dreams or ignore them. They are telling you some message from another place.
Take care everyone. John.


John thank you. I find that all very interesting. Do you think my John always dreaming about losing me has any significance? He dreamt that over many years. In the end we decided that if he did lose me we would meet at the biggest cathedral or church wherever we were. That seemed to give him some comfort. This is why I worry he is trying to find me now. He can’t be aware of that can he it would be too cruel. He was such a gentle soul and relied on me for all the organising and financial side of our life together and he was the practical, artistic one. We were a perfect match.

The gateway to an understanding of death. Can you explain that in more detail. You may not think this is the right place for a deeper discussion and if so I understand.

I will message you if that’s OK. It is a very controversial subject and many may find it upsets them. Although there is nothing to fear any subject that relates in any way to the mind or religion can cause problems on this site. Dreams have nothing to do with religion. or they can have if they are dreams with an obvious religious content.
See you later.

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I’m sorry abut that, but I got into hot water when I posted something similar, so in the interest of peace I refrain from anything controversial. Kind regards. John.

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Did you not set up a topic to capture such threads Jonathan? You could reroute it rather than PM.


Sure is a shame. Was a thing on the radio just this morning about the fact that since the start of Corona people appear to be remembering more of their dreams. But I can see what @jonathan123 means about treading carefully.