Hello everyone,
It’s been 80 long, empty and painful days since I unexpectedly lost the love of my life. I’ve struggled coping with my grief and had some, well many, very dark days. I miss him more than anyone, who hasn’t travelled this horrendous grief pathway, could imagine.
I went to bed early on Thursday night (9:30ish) because I was absolutely shattered, probably due to the lack of sleep finally catching up with me, and woke up at around 12:30 burning hot and feeling very disorientated (like when you nod of during the day and wake up not knowing what time it is, what day it is etc). I looked frantically round the bedroom trying to work out what time of the day it was etc.
When I woke up, I midway through a dream. Not a bad dream, a dream of an ordinary day, at home with my husband,bit felt like it was a weekend as we were chatting in the kitchen. I turned to my husband to tell him about the dream and to let him know that I was going to go downstairs for a while to cool down and have a cuppa.
Then came the awful realism… I’d just been dreaming. My husband had gone, I was here alone and it was the middle of the night. I just burst into tears, it was like starting my grief from the beginning again.
Does anyone else ever dream about your loved ones? How do you cope with it? Xxx
I wish I did dream about my husband. It’s a way of them visiting you. I watch Long Island medium on Saturday evening and she reconnects people with their loved ones. She said that dreams are a way of loved ones connecting with you I think I don’t dream because of the sleeping tablets but I wouldn’t sleep without them x
It is normal to dream about a loved one. My father died 17 years ago and I still have dreams about him which are so realistic until you wake up but smile that I can still remember him and hear him.
I would look at this in a positive way that you are still bonding with the love of your life and take comfort in that the person is in your thoughts and heart always.
Not all dreams are bad they can be of great comfort.
It’s been nearly a year since I lost my husband unexpectedly- no goodbyes - he was 50. I only dreamt about him a couple of times in the first few months. It was so real it woke me up. I’ve had months where I haven’t dreamt about him and then I did last night. In my dream, he had done things that I know he wouldn’t and I was really cross at him. We never argued so this was unrealistic as well. It has upset me though - it woke me up again and now I feel horrible, like when you’ve had a nightmare. I want to dream about him, but not in this way. It’s impossible to control the brain though. Take care
Yes I agree with what you all say. It’s very rare that I ever remember a dream but this one was so vivid, but such a normal day kind of dream, I think that is was struck me the most about it. It was like an ordinary weekend where we would be hanging round in the kitchen, chatting, drinking coffee/tea etc. The dream wasn’t upsetting at all, in fact quite the opposite. It was the realisation when I woke and realised it was a dream and remembered he was no longer here which was upsetting. However, I’d rather have a dream and possibly get upset when I woke than not, it was comforting to be living everyday life with him if only in a dream xxx
Yes I dream sometimes about my partner and it is never the dream I would like. I dream he won’t answer his phone or he goes somewhere I cant find him. I just want him to hug me in my dream or tell me he’s ok. I worry that he is upset with me which I know is probably a daft thing to think but it makes me sad
I have dreamt about loved ones who have passed since my Grandad died when I was 12, we were sat chatting in his kitchen. Now my parents come and visit. My Mum used to always seem cross with me, but thankfully that seems to have stopped now. The dreams are just of us being together now.
Hi Karenlouise
I had many visitations from my husband during the first year of my loss and treasured them. He showed me things I didn’t know. His last words had been “I will always be looking after you” and he certainly did that. I also found myself very disorientated at these times.
After a year he came to me in a dream and told me that he couldn’t be with him any longer and he was going. I have only had one dream of any consequence since. But I have had many signs and I get so much pleasure from them.
xx
I never used to remember my dreams but since losing dad I have had two dreams that I can recall. The first was a year after he passed . It was like he was telling me that it was real that he had passed as I could not and found it difficult to accept he had gone.
The second was recently. It was cruel like yours as I believed it was my wish come true…that dad had come back and it was an error in the hospital system that somehow ‘lost’ him and told us he had passed. I was so happy in the dream and was ready to tell dad about what we had been told but I never got round to it in the dream…then I woke to the cruel reality that my mind had played tricks and made me believe dad was still here. It upset me so much and took me right back to the day he passed xxx
