The dreams, oh my. They knock me off my feet every time. My lovely Mum passed away almost two years ago and sometimes I dream of her. It’s so lovely but then I wake. Does anyone else experience this?
Hi @Sal46 I have experienced this having dreams about my Mum and Dad. I lost my Dad 17 years ago and was having dreams about him when I was caring for Mum full time.
My Mum passed away in May and I have had a dream about her as well and I thought she had came into my house. On this particular night I woke myself, got up and opened my bedroom door thinking she was standing in my hall, that just opened the floodgates for me.
Hi @Ginger48 I’m so deeply sorry for the loss of your Mum and so recently as well. My heart goes out to you, it’s an awful club to be a part of.
I totally understand that feeling, it’s a horrible realisation when you wake up like a thud in the pit of your stomach.
Sorry also for the loss of your Dad, I too lost mine 24 years ago. Coincidentally, I cared for my Mum too but more towards the end and what you said about dreams of your Dad made me remember that I dreamt of him as well at that time. Looking back maybe he was trying to let me know he was waiting for her. It’s incredibly difficult without them and I feel so lost and dare I say scared at times.
Looking back, and when I think about the dreams about my Dad it was as if he was sending me a message. I know that isnt everyones beliefs but I like to think that Mum and Dad are back together and watching over me and my sister.
I am so glad that I have found this group as all my friends still have both their parents and some of my family and they dont seem to get it.
I live on my own, and at times I have found it extremely hard and like you scared as I am trying to get used to the “new normal”. Right now I am just taking it day by day.
Not been on here for a while, but a few nights ago I had a dream that was so vivid about my dad, it’s been 2years this December, since he got his wings, any way I dreamed that he was sitting in my kitchen at the table, it was surreal that I had to get up and put the light on to check
@Ginger48 Unfortunately they won’t understand until it happens to them, as harsh as that sounds but it’s true. Plus they don’t know what to say and are perhaps scared of saying the wrong thing. They don’t understand that they couldn’t say anything that could possibly upset you more than you are already. All we are faced with is having to get used to them not being around but some days that thought is just too much to bear, especially when you have a dream.
I too like to think they are together looking out for me. I hope to see them again one day and just pray that it’s not black out when we pass on.
It’s lovely to read that you’re taking it day by day as its still so raw for you and if you find that to hard at times then I find hour by hour can help calm me.
@Karen621 I’m so sorry you have lost your beloved Dad. You’re at a similar time to me as my Mum was two years this November. I normally only talk of the time in months not years, I can’t bear saying it out loud in years but I don’t mind typing it. I just hate the time that passes so fast. Oh bless your heart. I did similar with my Dad after about 6 months. I felt like my heart had been ripped out when I put the light on. Doesn’t it feel so real! Maybe he was there just checking in on you. Not sure how true this is obviously but many years ago, someone told me that we are not supposed to see our angel parents as that means that they have come for us. So maybe he was there but in your unconscious state to ensure he was on the right side of the rules so to speak.
I truly believe they do send us signs. I’ve been reading a lot of books about grief. Apparently, when we are ‘unconscious’ in sleep, they can come through in our dreams. Some people say they have got up, because they have heard their voice in the home or potentially seen orbs around the room. It’s so difficult to know. I do hope it is true (without being too spooky!). I was dreaming on Tuesday night and I woke up and it was 3.33am. Apparently they do send us signs through dreams and through numbers, etc. such as a series of numbers 111, 222, 333, etc. And waking at 3.33am does seem to indicate (from reading online) that a spirit may be trying to send a message. I just find it comforting. xx
@youareunbelievable I just love talking about signs. I’ve had a few of them since my Mum passed and I totally get what you say about times. I haven’t experienced that myself but just the day before yesterday a male colleague and I were talking and got onto this topic. He said to me that every day, without fail, he looks at the time and it’s 11.11. Like you, he explained to me that there are meanings to a series of numbers in time. I had no idea! Who do you hope it to be looking out for you? I definitely find the signs comforting too. I’ve had a full on chat with my Dad in my dreams before and have even been given answers to problems from him, he was my guiding light in life. It is comforting but heart wrenching at the same time if that makes sense.
My dad passed over 20 years ago, and I never felt anything like this. I had mum and we both seemed to ‘walk’ through his death. I never saw mum experience grief at any time. We carried on as normal, unexpectedly! I’ve never really seen or felt anything after my dad passed, but then again, I guess I wasn’t looking out for any signs. I do hope it’s my mum who is sending me signs. I’ve had robins and and a ladybird sign and a lot of feathers one day after I had been soo upset that day. Just too coincidental. We were so close. Best of friends and she meant the world to me (and likewise me to her). xx
Like you i talk to my dad in my head and i can hear him answer me, i know when I am down he sends me a sign like a robin will appear, i can smell cigar smoke also
@youareunbelievable That’s what I miss the most, my best friend. I miss just laughing with her to the point no one knew why or what we were laughing at, only her and I did. It’s lovely you’ve had robins and feathers. I get butterflies, they plague me sometimes. I had one land on the window of my car this week and as I opened the door it flew in and landed on my hand, sat for a bit and then flew off. We always held hands, even as she took her last breath I held her hand. When she was In her coffin I held her hand and played with her hair. I’ve gone off track now, I am sorry. Anyway I hope it’s her, I miss her so much. This too for me feels like nothing else I’ve ever been through, not any worse as such but just entirely different. Like you, I had Mum to get me through Dad’s passing and our mum’s sound like twins! She too never seemed to grieve. Maybe they did but privately.
Wow! @Karen621 Cigar smoke! How wonderful. Would you be prepared to tell me more? Is it often? Where do you smell it? I bet that was a huge comfort to you.
I do too, I quite often talk to my dad and hear his voice it’s been nearly three months, but I don’t ever want to lose that.
Yes, we have such a special connection with our mums, don’t we? I can’t talk to anyone else like I did with her. I miss that so much. We just knew each other inside out. When mum passed it was so quick, I didn’t realize really what was happening. I was called to her care home at 4am and she was breathing fairly loud and then it just stopped, then started and then she just stopped completely. I was saying to her at that time ‘you’re the most precious mum in the world’. I’m not sure if she was transitioning right at that point, but I think hearing is the last thing to go, so I really hope she heard me. I do hope she knew I was there. Big hugs. xx
I smell it when I feel upset and i miss him so it brings comfort to know he’s around me,
It’s lovely you were there given that it happened so quickly. I too hope my Mum knew I was there. Yes, they do so say the hearing is the last sense to go. She was just so brave. I told her it was ok to go and thanked her for loving me. She had mobility issues before she passed and consequently became unable to walk. After she passed she looked like she could get up and run. I hope she’s having the time of her life wherever she is and that the signs get stronger.
That’s truly amazing. That must be such a comfort to know he’s there, for me that would be such a strong sign.
@3110 I don’t think you’ll ever lose that. You’ll always be thinking of him and talking to him. I do with my Dad even after all these years. Not as much but I still speak to him from time to time. I tend to feel him around at times.