Drowning here!

Not quite a week since my husbands funeral and the grief is overwhelming. As I mentioned in my first post, my wonderful father passed away the morning after my husband died. My poor mother is so sad and because of her age, does not have the same support network as she has lost so many friends over the years. I know its early days. I spoke to the doctor who asked if I felt like harming myself and if I am honest, it has crossed my mind but I have people who depend on me. Is it normal to feel like this?

It’s exactly a week since my husband’s funeral as well. I understand your feelings. I cannot stop myself from crying at the injustice of him not being here to enjoy all the things we’d planned. He died suddenly and unexpectedly and we still don’t have any answers. Every day seems a struggle doesn’t it? You have had a double shock as well. The only advice people I have been given from the GP and counselling is just to keep breathing through each day. Not much of a way to live is it but all we can do at the moment. Sending hugs from someone who understands

How old was your husband? My love had just turned 60 and we had spent 34 years together. He was diagnosed with lung cancer a year ago and battled so hard to stay with me. Breathing through each day is all I am capable of at the moment. As you say, it’s not a great way to live.

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My husband was only 50, we’d been together since we were 16. I can’t comprehend how to live without him. We’ve always been together.


We all know how you feel on here.
There are so many different emotions we go through. I’ve even thought of ending it all as my life has ended without my soul mate, but I have adult kids living at home and it’s cruel for them to lose both parents.
I have days where I can do things but the pain is constantly there and I still cry everyday but it’s not all day as it was the first 3 months. Its like people say you carry your pain with you but you learn to cope with it.
I don’t count the weeks since my soul mate passed as I find it hurts too much as it keeps reminding me of Christmas and that one minute he was walking about and we were laughing and having fun then 3 weeks later on 13th january 2021 he left me, s**t COVID took him my best friend, the man who I idolised, whom I thought I would be with for years longer.
I think it’s best to take every day as it comes, one day I cope a bit the next day I’m in bits, I’m trying so hard to think of our lovely memories when I’m in despair, which is helping a bit now whereas before memories were painful and I’d cry.
We have to take one day at the time and do as much as we can cope with.
Sending you a warm hug
Amy x

I to feel like I’m drowning, suffocating, there are no words to say x I’m here if you want to talk

Had my first covid injection today. My Marti would of had his in the February, he died 13th Jan from covid. I can’t cope I miss him dreadfully.
Amy x