Dying young

Losing a partner young

I’m 49, I lost my hubby 2019, been together 33 years, since I was 15. Can’t see any future. Anyone in same place as me? X

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Hi. I’m 47…my husband died in September last year…worst six months ever…and now society has fallen apart and everything has changed…overwhelmed doesn’t cut it.
It was his birthday yesterday. My friend wrote a beautiful poem for me. It made me cry…but it’s very much meant to give hope. It might help you too x

Prophecy for Liz
I cannot tell you when this grey fog of loss will lift.
It is not in my gift to say how many autumns must grind gold into tobacco dust –
Nor count how many winters will come thin and pale to steal your warmth.
This I can foretell: kindness will shred the protective film dividing your heart and grief,
Springs will burst upon you, over-eager, with the song of blackbirds.
One summer’s evening, the glass will thin between you and a sunset’s extravagant mourning.
You will not remain trapped: a spider betwixt tumbler and paper, huddled and wary -
That tender gaoler, Time, will let you go.
You will find a breadcrumb trail beneath dark and clawing branches.
Light will make small pools along your path,
Will pick out tender roses, blooms to make your eyes smart and blink.
Harsh, unwanted tears will salt the slabs of dirty ice into becks.
Know that low and muffling clouds cannot hug the tops for ever.
Sleet is not the only ruler of the moors,
And emptiness is not the sole offering of the hours.
Down in the small chasms of limestone, cranesbill seeds still shoot unseen.
Snow, hail or storms fail to halt their tiny purpose.
Even tumultuous ash will settle - no more years without a summer.
You will meet a raw island, a bequest from deep waters.
Vision cleared; you will name it your new home.
19th March 2020

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Hi Dongle ,
I, like you, also lost my husband November 2019.
He was 56, I’m 51. We’ve been together 33 years, met him when I was 17.It was sudden, went out fine to work in the morning and that was it, our lives have changed forever. He had a cardiac arrest.
Always thought we would grow old together, had lots of plans for the future, now all gone.
Dying young, never thought for a million years that would ever happen, Tim, was so fit and healthy, and to have his life cut short is devastating, I feel dead inside, and don’t see a future anymore. I also feel for him, he would of hated not being able to say goodbye to us all and has lost his future.
I have to carry on for my daughters and 3 beautiful grandchildren, all under 3, and it upsets me that my husband won’t get to see them grow up.
Life is so very cruel.
I know exactly how you are feeling, as do everyone else on here. It’s a good place to come and write your feelings down, as people around us just don’t get it. I feel I’m burdening people, so I put a face on and try to be normal, then people say ,- you seem better :roll_eyes: if they only knew how I’m feeling inside .
Keep in touch, we can all help each other to try and stay strong, as we are all going through the same awful heartbreaking time,
Love to you and your family.
Steph x

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I’m the same lost my partner of 21 years unexpectedly last November I’m 50 he was 55 got no children and at present can’t see the point of anything went back to work three weeks ago which has slightly helped
Take care

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Hi ldnw
Hang in there, things will get better.
My mum and dad were both 53 when he died suddenly from a major heart attack.
I’m struggling with both of them now gone, but things will get better x

Hi c1971
Thanks for the reply and sorry for your loss I can image how hard it has been for you
Take care x

Thankyou, for all of us x

Thankyou all for talking, it hurts to know there’s others going through this pain but nice to know there’s someone out there that understands . Take care x

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Hello All,
Yes being part of this group is certainly double-edged; I am sorry that you’re all experiencing the worst possible pain, but glad that I have someone to talk to that understands.
My husband died almost 8 weeks ago now. He was a night owl and always stayed up later than me, but he died suddenly in the early hours and me and my 15 year old son came downstairs in the morning to find him. It was the worst day of my life. I’m sure you all feel this too.
I cry every day, more now than in the early days. It’s so hard to know how to carry on, our lives have been torn apart in an instant, with no warning, no explanation.
Heartfelt sympathy to you all, especially in these isolating times.
Clare x

This is so beautiful and from the heart.
As our wonderful Queen said last Sunday evening, “We will meet again”.

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Hi idnw,
I really feel for you, in your loss. x

Liz, truly beautiful comforting words, worth sharing on the ‘grieving through poetry’ thread. Sending love and stay safe :blue_heart:

Absolutely Mary. We will meet again :heart:

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I lost my husband 20 days ago he was 39 years old I am six years older than him. Everyday is so hard for me. I do not want to talk or see anyone. Meaning of life? Or whats right and wrong? He was my love of my life. He left us with our lovely son.
Need to be strong do not how as all my life I needed to be strong. When I met my love I thought finally I do not need to be strong any more as I relied on him but we did everything together as we were a great team.
Missing him crying every day is my routine

Wow. So many in similar situation to me. This morning I felt like enough is enough. Saying I’m in pain is an understatement. Lost my wife 2 weeks ago she was 53 I’m 49 married just short of 23 years. Died suddenly of cancer when we expected her to have hysterectomy. We don’t have children but she leaves a mum 87 who is housebound. No other family to talk of.
How do you cope ?
I’m struggling and no Matter what people advise untill you go through it you don’t fully understand.

JayandAllison
So sorry for your loss I lost my partner suddenly last November did not know he had cancer we had no children its helped me going back to work I still cry for my love every day just try and look after yourself the best you can because it was sudden you have that many thoughts racing through your mind

Thank you. I’m so glad I don’t have regrets as we had such a loving relationship. Just never expected to be in this position at 49. So hard after 23 years. My last few hours were with her in hospital. Just can’t get last minutes out if my mind but would have given everything to be there for her. Can’t think of life without my beautiful girl

So sorry Jayand Allison whoever says be strong time will help you. I do not think I will ever recover or over it. How? As he was love of my life.

I’m glad she never suffered for long due to the miss diagnosis. But fill so robbed of her as she was 53. Even her last few hours she was thinking of others and not her self. She definitely was my very brave girl especially how the consultants and doctors treated her

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