Early days

Hi everyone. This is the first time I have posted in my own right, although I have commented on another post.
My husband of 46 years passed away on the 16th of October. He had been diagnosed with bladder cancer in April this year, and had his bladder removed in late June.

After initially recovering well he began to suffer from various complications. It became clear that it had not been possible for the cancer to be completely removed and the tumour had spread outside the bladder. Several returns to hospital followed and he was eventually given a terminal diagnosis in late September.

He returned home, where we hoped for some time together but it was just 9 days before he passed away.

I am still reeling from the shock and nothing feels real at the moment. The funeral is next Friday and we have people travelling from all around the country to attend. I have received so many tributes and messages of condolence but right now all I want is the one thing I can’t have - my husband.

I am lucky to have family nearby ( we had moved to spend our retirement closer to them) but it is bittersweet that we are meeting together to mourn him not to be with him.


Hello @Pussycat1,

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling very sad.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

We also offer further support which you might want to take a look at. Our Online Bereavement Support includes our free online bereavement counselling, our Grief Guide which has interactive tools to help you cope with grief, and Grief Coach, where you can receive personalised support via text.

Take care - keep reaching out,


1 Like

Hi Pussycat I am so sorry to hear about your loss and what your husband and yourself went through .I understand all you want is your husband back .Reading this forum can help I think because other people also have the same feelings that you are going through that we can’t always put into words ourselves.
I wish I could say more to comfort you more but I can’t take care of yourself too xx

1 Like

Thank you, it means a lot to know that others understand what I am going through. I have looked at cancer forums but it seems wrong to post on them sometimes because others are understandably holding out hope for the future.